Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Tonight, Rhett was driving Sarah and myself to meet Katie at the cinema, when - quite seriously – he asked me the following question about my clown friend Herschel:

Rhett: “Your friend Herschel – is he really a clown, or is he just a clown for fun?”

It was to become an evening of difficult-to-answer questions...


Once in the cinema, as we were all watching the opening credits roll, Katie suddenly leant over and whispered “I can’t remember – how did the last one end?”

Blowed if I know.

“Happily ever after,” I blagged. This seemed a reasonably safe bet, given that it had been a self-contained movie from Hollywood. Still, I knew my answer hadn’t quite contained the level of detail she required, so in the absence of any genuine recollection, I just kept on shamming it.

“There were definitely credits at the end. And a production company logo. I remember leaving the cinema.” This wasn’t going well. I was reasonably sure that I could keep on giving fake answers for a while yet, (I had still to get onto Herschel's kolourfully kopyrighted kostume next to me) but I knew that sooner or later I would run out of fudge and have to recap what had happened in the plot. Fortunately, at that moment the opening credits unexpectedly finished a few minutes early, and I was in the clear.

Despite my amnesia of its ending, Pirates Of The Caribbean 1 had actually held my attention really well for its two hour duration, but it wasn’t a film that I had ever cared to sit all the way through again. In fact I was disappointed that it had dropped its piratey hook half-way through to delve into samey science-fiction horror.

This first sequel therefore held a strange wallpapery interest for me. I expected to have fun for two hours, but to do so I’d left my brains back at Rhett and Sarah’s place, and was now just waiting for inane belly-laughs.

And I wasn’t disappointed.


This was a movie with two utterly brilliant set-pieces, and a script that some people had actually sat down to work quite hard on. It also assumed that I remembered the original in detail, which we’ve already established that I didn’t, but unlike with Doctor Who, I was perfectly happy to take the whole thing on faith.

The thing that I did remember – that infamous 'But why did you burn all my rum?' line – was sadly over-milked on several occasions, when just one reference (preferably the “hide the rum” one) could have been hilarious.

And that long-lost ingredient of science-fiction - depth. The scarring soul-searching of Jack and Elizabeth as they both make choices against their opposing lifelong ethics… and the devastating consequences… awe-inspiring stuff. Fascinating to believe in and reflect upon afterwards.

After the extremely long closing-credits, (paradoxically they had to fit in the belated opening credits here as well) the post-credits tag scene had us all in stitches, and there was some discussion in the car park about whether there would be a third film.

I’d be thoroughly disappointed if there wasn’t. What other franchise leaves so many threads hanging without having already filmed them?

(available here)



Related Posts:

Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End
Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides