Superman™ Returns

The girl behind the cinema ticket counter was quite definite – the IMAX projector was broken on Saturdays. As this was a Saturday, it was broken today. Therefore Shane and I couldn’t see Superman™ in 3-D.

We also couldn’t pick which seats we wanted.

So we found another cashier. Unfortunately it was still Saturday, so the IMAX projector (I hope you’ve been paying attention) was still broken, so we agreed to see the flat 2-dimensional version instead, and picked out the seats we wanted.

The central concept of Superman™ Returns is a bit like putting on an expensive suit and then attacking yourself with scissors.

On the one hand it shuns convention by continuing the storylines left by the series of Christopher Reeve Superman™ movies from the late 70s and early 80s.

On the other, it actually presumes to replace the final 2 of these films. That’s right – it follows on seamlessly from Superman™ and Superman™ II (even getting back the dead Marlon Brando for a few scenes), yet arrogantly throws away Supermen ™III and IV as though we never spent our pocket money seeing those ones.

Martha Kent – she’s alive again. Unbelievable.

They even smugly dedicated their effort to the late director of Superman™ IV - Christopher Reeve himself - whilst simultaneously smacking him in the face for it. They may not have liked it, but Reeve probably did.

(Just for the record Supergirl™ (as good as Superman™ - honestly) never got a mention either)

Anyway, having been forced into making a choice between the original movies and the new one, I had to admit that Supes™ Returns had a pretty intelligent script.

For starters absolutely no effort was made to introduce the characters to a new audience. After all - it's Superman™. Really - who doesn't know how that all works?

Lots of funny lines too - a good way to go. Particularly liked the kid, who amazingly wasn't the least bit annoying, probably because he was the anti-movie-kid. His best line would have to be, when arriving at Lex Luthor's house: "Can I stay in the car?"

Really didn't like him turning out to be Superboy though. It was just far too easy. I was convinced he would just turn out to be Richard's kid from his first marriage.

But hey - how can you argue with any film that brings out merchandise like this: