Uncle Travelling Jesus sketch #5 of 5

Christmas eve, and for some reason this was played at church without the music track, so I’m happy to present it here in full “restored” form! (the way it might have been, but wasn't)


Dear nephew Go-bro,

Well, I'm finally nearing the end of my trip through Outer Space and I'll almost be back home as you read this, all being well. Couldn't be away from home on my birthday, now could I?! This week however, whilst heading home, I acccidentally got on the wrong flight though, so I'm currently trapped on an enforced 7-day stopover in the duty-free area of Perth in Australia, while they try to find an alternative flight for me, which is a tough job this close to Christmas. Err... they also suspect me of having bird flu. Hmm.

Ohh, so far this week, in the duty-free area, I've eaten fifteen meals at Burger King, I've had a race on one of those golf-cart thingies, and I've watched the film The Nativity Story 28 times! Hm! After sleeping last night on a luggage-trolley however, today I decided to use my time effectively, and I have been doing some last-minute duty-free Christmas shopping. So, I was looking through one of the local malls here and what do you know, but Santa Claus himself was there! So of course I did what any good boy would do: I joined the queue of silly creatures and then, 45 minutes later, here I am as you see me – sitting on Santa's knee! And he actually was the real Santa – he could wink his eye and beckon his finger slowly and everything!

Seeing as it's my birthday that we're celebrating though, Santa seemed a little lost for words and actually forgot to ask me what I'd like for my birthday; so, being the countercultural icon that I am, I asked him what he would like for Christmas! Heh-heh-heh! Well, he had plenty of ideas: this Christmas off, the latest model sleigh with all the extra features, elves who didn't require paying, a pair of togs for visiting New Zealand, a printer to finally send-out all those invoices of his… but I think I know just the ticket. He could really do with a gym membership. You see, you may not have noticed, but he's really let himself go lately. I'm sure if he was a bit fitter then work wouldn't seem so bad and he wouldn't feel like he needed all those other things; plus getting down chimneys would be a breeze, not to mention how much happier his reindeer would be! I'm glad that was so easy – some people can be so hard to buy for!

Well, I'll be seeing you soon nephew. With my ticket temporarily impounded, it's hard to see how I'm going to make it home in time for Christmas, but I believe, I really do believe, that I will. I actually will. Don't forget to set my place at the table!

Love as always, your Uncle Travelling Jesus.

Sketch #1 of 5 here.
Sketch #2 of 5 here.
Sketch #3 of 5 here.
Sketch #4 of 5 here.