pop-shopping - juicy music from german commercials 1960-1975, volume 1

This is a compilation of floppy discs.

No, not those rigid square things that used to slide comfortably into personal computers in the 1990s, I mean actual floppy floppy circular discs.

Floppy discs.

Oh all right then, they were alternatively known as flexi discs. Do you see what they did there? They took the word "flexi" from "flexible", and "disc" from "disc" and they created the term "flexi disc". They also called them "sound foils", because they had sound recorded on them, and were made of… um, vinyl, generally.

Well actually, for a while the underground flexi disc industry in Russia used to make them out of discarded medical x-rays, but let's not get side-tracked, we're here to talk about Germany.

Flexi discs were very thin 7" singles that usually only had a groove on one side, played at 45rpm, and advised the user to place a coin somewhere near the centre, just in case the lightweight thing became too attached to the stylus and ceased revolving.

Mind you, these flexi disc things weren't cheap. In fact, to buy one could literally cost you a pretty packet. Yes Missus, flexi discs were FREE!

Back in "der Tag" (those crazy 1960s), it must have seemed like you couldn't buy anything in Germany without discovering one of these magical Schallfolien hiding somewhere about it like some kind of pre-Playstation easter egg.

Though the singles were often sellotaped nicely to the front of a magazine cover, flexi discs could theoretically be any size, and so were given away with anything from mens' shirts to bottles of fabric softener. Even candy box lids were sometimes known to disguise a spiral groove containing music.

Said scores were typically specially composed advertising music for the product you had just bought, and as such were as funky and exciting as 1960s Europop got.

The enthusiastic sleeve-notes on this sometimes staticy compilation CD sum it up:

"Wie da Vibraphone und Flöten unisono zu dezenter Elektrogitarrenrhythmik und Cool Jazz entlehnte Melodiefloskeln in duften Beat umdeuteten, wie Tijuana-Trompeten wieselflinken Violinen den Marsch bliesen, wie sich der sirrende Sound der Hammondorgeln mit einem Mӓdchenchor gerade so funky mischte, dass junge Leute aufmerkten und auch die Teenager-Spӓtlese gönnerhaft sagen konnte: "Dolle Sache!" … das mußte Bruhn, Wilden, Doldinger, Wüsthoff et al, erstmal einer nachmachen."

I find something quite wacky about any foreign language, especially when spoken or sung with utter conviction, so it's wundervoll that this collection has been filled out with some actual commercials and trade show accompaniment.

Track 5 really says it all, so I'd like to now present you with its full 2:39 of female-sung choral lyrics:


(INTRO WITH DRUMS, ORGAN AND ELECTRIC GUITAR)
Moulimoulinex,
Moulimoulinex,
Moulimoulinex,
Moulimoulinex,
(CUE VIOLINS)
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
(CUE TIJUANA-TRUMPET SOLO)
Moulinex.
Moulinex.
Moulinex!
Moulinex-Moulinex-Moulineeeeex!
Moulinex.
Moulinex.
Moulinex!
Moulineeeeex!-Moulineeeeex!-Moulineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex!!!
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
Laa la-laa la-laa la!
(CUE FLUTE SOLO)
(Moulinex.)
(Moulinex.)
(Moulinex!)
Moulinex-Moulinex-Moulineeeeex!
(CUE TIJUANA REPRISE)
(Moulinex.)
(Moulinex.)
(Moulinex!)
Moulineeeeex!-Moulineeeeex!-Moulineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex!
(CUE BIG FINALE!)
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex.
Mouuuuuliiiiinex. (fade out)

Catchy little number. It's called Moulinex.

Years later, this dancey singalong really should have been covered by 2 Unlimited.

Leaving no time for recovery, the next jazzy piece is Variationen K'71, written to advertise BASF, and as such was incredibly composed around the four notes B, A, Es and F. Today it sounds like a cross between The Prisoner and The Cosby Show.

Track 8 Open Commodore ends like an episode of Star Trek (you can just picture that green woman with her raised arms), track 14 Tobler Twist sounds like the Benny Hill music (you can just picture those tall women with Benny's terrified face), and track 18 appears to feature guest chuckles from Krusty The Klown.

However the compositions that made my head spin as fast as the original record would have to be the two pieces entitled Minikillers.

As you know, Mini-Killers was a 4-part movie series starring Diana Rigg of The Avengers fame, that was released exclusively on Super 8, sometimes mute. It's reasonable to suppose that these compositions may have originally been intended to be played together with the film's pictures, but whatever the case, in isolation from it they sound quite disturbing. The second one particularly features a woman moaning and screaming "No!" in terror, until some brutal fiend exclaims "I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you NOW!" before guffawing at length and ecstatically declaring "Mini-Killers!"

As I possess a reel of this somewhere, I really should try syncing it up some time.

And then, just as you thought it was safe to go back into the kitchen, along comes track 26, enchantingly entitled Moulinex TV Version…

If you didn't grow up in Germany, well, now's your chance.

Track listing:

1. Mal weghören, jetzt kommt Werbung (Intro)
2. Ford Capri II (Christian Bruhn, 1973) - Ford
3. Wild Freshness (Klaus Doldinger, 1970) - Fa
4. Swinging Nordwest (Max Meier-Maletz, 1965) - Interpret: Orchester Wolf Gabbe - Nordwest Schuhe
5. Moulinex (Gert Wilden, 1972) - Kenco. No, wait, it's Moulinex.
6. Variationen K'71 (Luigi Pelliccioni, 1970) - BASF
7. Minikillers I (Johnny Teupen, 1968) - Mini-Killers
8. Opel Commodore (Klaus Wüsthoff, 1974) - Opel
9. Frei mit Boots (Klaus Doldinger, 1973) - Salamander
10. Arbeit '70 (unknown/HVBG, 1970) - Hauptverbannd der Berufsgenossenschaften
11. Polycolor (Klaus Wüsthoff, 1970) - Polycolor
12. Mon Chéri (Klaus Wüsthoff, 1965) - Mon Chéri
13. Swing a little, Kim a little (unknown, ca. 1967) - Kim
14. Tobler Twist (Conzelmann, Haensch, 1963) - Tobler
15. Sein großer Traum (Erik Sylvester/M Joyct, 1972) - Nürburgring
16. Roth-Hӓndle (Peter Schirmann, 1966) - Roth-Hӓndle
17. Nescafe Calypso (Max Woiski sr., 1959) - Nescafé
18. Peach Girl (baden, Brenk, petri, 1968) - Ellen Betrix
19. Komm' in Fahrt - Der Hansa-Pils-Hit (Christian Bruhn, 1973) - Hansa Pils
20. Minikillers II (Johnny Teupen, 1968) - Mini-Killers
21. Ford Taunus (Christian Bruhn, 1974) - Ford
22. Space-Freizeit '69 (W Breinig, 1969) - Ford
23. Swinging Nordwest (Playback) (Max Meier-Maletz, 1965) - Orchester Wolf Gabbe - Swinging Nordwest
24. Strahler 70 (Christian Bruhn, 1970) - Strahler 70
25. Opel Rekord (Klaus Wüsthoff, 1975) - Opel
26. Moulinex TV-Version (Gert Wilden, 1972) - Moulinex
27. Sweet & Sexy (Baden, Brenk, Petri, 1968) - Ellen Betrix
28. Aus dem Titel "Memories" (C J Schӓuble/H Jankowski, 1967) - Kodak

Available to sample here (requires RealPlayer) and buy here.
Review of volume TWO here!