Colossians

Fans of Star Trek are called Trekkers.

Fans of Doctor Who are called Whovians.

Fans of P.A.T.C.H.Work are called Quilters.

So what are fans of the Bible called?

I suppose that most of them are called “Christians”, but that term really only refers to those who have made a commitment to follow Christ. There are plenty of people out there who like the Bible, but don’t even believe in God.

They (notice how I’m distancing myself already) could have their own conventions, where they could dress up as their favourite Biblical characters, watch their favourite books being read, and buy and sell rare Biblical merchandise, like the heavily sought-after Samson lunchbox from 1975.

And then there’d be all the unlicenced fan-fiction, filling in all the holes in the narrative, and explaining apparent contradictions.

The book of Colossians would surely be quite popular in such circles. It reads a bit like an earlier pilot version of Paul’s epistles – y’know, the letter he wrote first just to see what did and didn’t work about it, before going ahead with the series proper.

Much of what found its way into Ephesians is presented in here, in a briefer form. Also Paul makes several crowd-pleasing continuity references to his arrest, and even Luke – the author of both his eponymous gospel and Acts – gets a cameo.

And of course it fits in with other, potentially non-canon, work. The third to last verse says:

After this letter has been read to you, see that it is also read in the church of the Laodiceans and that you in turn read the letter from Laodicea.

- Colossians 4:16 (NIV)

But then, Christianity is a bit too mainstream to become a cult.