Steve Goble

Choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Last Saturday night I went outdoors to go to the laundry-room, and in the pitch-darkness I managed to smash my shin right into our new neighbour’s wooden bench. I do this very rarely – I swore.

The following day I sat down in flatmate Dave’s new rocking-chair, leant back and it went right over, tipping me out onto my head.

Later that evening, after doing some filming with flatmate Cathy, I accidentally knocked the rocking-chair into Dave’s halogen light on the coffee-table, smashing the lamp to smithereens.

The next day, outside Westfield shopping centre in Manukau, I was walking along when I actually managed to smack my forehead into a low-hanging tree-branch.

Late the following night, at the end of the latest Cession / Creative meeting, just as I was about to quietly tip-toe out into the night, I picked up the large wooden board that I’d been sitting with my back against, and managed to drop it straight onto the bare wooden floor, in such a way that it deafeningly bounced several times across the room, and brought their concerned bleary-eyed flatmate out from his bedroom.

This morning I got into work and was completely unable to turn the key in the lock. I turned and turned so hard that I wound up physically twisting it. After my boss had later arrived, he tried putting my key in and it opened first time.

As Moby would say, I’m rubbish.


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