When Clowns Fight

Yesterday I came down to Hastings to see buddy Jamie compete against 20 other comics in a national stand-up comedy contest.


Fig. 1: Jamie kills the photographer with a mere look.

The prize was, ironically, a trip to work as a stand-up comic in the UK.

Jamie was good, but alas he wasn’t selected for the finals the following night. So licking our wounds afterwards, Jamie and I made our way back to The Rotten Apple backpackers in Havelock North, where we quickly discovered the place had closed for the night.

Fortunately they agreed to make an exception for us:


Fig. 2: The Rotten Apple was teeming with parasites.

The following morning we checked out again to explore Hastings in daylight:


Fig. 3: There is no escape from the village.


Catching the train here must feel like catching a ride at an amusement park.


Happiness is a sheep with 6 legs


This is the town that inspired the original movie version of War Of The Worlds.

Our itinerant slouching over, it was onto Napier to watch the final.

Here, I was surprised to see several competitors actually repeating their act from the previous night, for an audience that predominantly consisted of the same people. Intriguingly though, everyone except me seemed to lap it all up a second time.

However my lowest marks went to one of the swearers, who managed to recite word for word David Spade’s aircraft pilot bit from the second episode of The Larry Sanders Show.

That’s right. That was a funny act. That’s how come I still remember it.


The guy above on the other hand used his own material, and did well, but the guy who finally won really deserved to. His song about who all the different nations hated had everyone in stitches, especially the final line.

I was taking notes. A while back I promised Jamie that I would do some stand-up comedy myself at some point. And, unfortunately, I keep my promises, no matter how much they scare me.

Still, first things first - tonight God had me sleeping in a prison cell...


(that episode tomorrow)