The Complete Superman Collection - Diamond Anniversary Edition

"The best and only Superman collection a fan should own!" - Animato!

Well, I can hardly argue with a cover-quote like that!

These are the legendary 17 Superman cartoons made in the 1940s by Fleisher and Famous Studios, although rest assured that nowhere in here will you find an inanimate object sporting a cheery grin and swaying in time to music.

Running at about eight minutes apiece, each of these productions is a triumph of animation. They all, without exception, look gorgeous, a fact only magnified by the wonderful orchestral music throughout. There's a real urgency to these fast, pacey shorts, and yet they pack so much in that it's often hard to believe that they weren't longer.

The scripts? The voice direction? Well, they do their job. Most of the dialogue is minimal, a fact we can be grateful for because, as I mentioned above, the animation really is this collection's strong point. Most of the stories hold together pretty well, there are some great inventive design ideas, and the rapidly changing cast wouldn't likely have noticed much at the cinema. Overall, aside from the WW2-related ones, these haven't really dated much.

Where I would take the above quote to task though, is in the packaging of this collection. The DVD menus only offer three cartoons per screen, which together with a swooping 'S' logo make trekking through to the episode you want quite laborious. Even when you do get there, there's then a whole "This looks like a job for Superman" soundbite to wait through. (I don't like DVD menu-screens in general) This is a shame, as this episodic series really isn't the sort of collection that I would want to watch all-through in one sitting, as indeed I haven't.

These films certainly haven't been restored for this release either, suffering both neg and print damage, without any apparent attempt made to even swap-in cleaner frames from alternate copies of the opening credits.


Worst of all is the unfathomable decision to superimpose the original release date over the start of each episode! Ooh, that idea sure wasn't thought-up by someone who appreciated these collector's items. In short, this is sadly not the release to buy if you're a fan.

All the same, the strength of the source material overcomes all of this, and there isn't a single episode on here that I wasn't enthralled by.

Did I mention that the beautiful design and fine animation is second to none? Okay then, I'll stop gushing and get straight onto the episode guide...

#1
Superman
(released 26th September 1941)

The opening narration fills us in on this incarnation of Superman's origin. It excises Ma and Pa Kent and explains, with a black-and-white line drawing, that he grew up in an orphanage, and became a newspaper reporter because of what a useful position it puts him in.

A "mad scientist" is committing 911-ish destruction to the city with a giant "Electrothanasia-Ray" from his tower. (bit of a giveaway as to his hideout’s location if you ask me) Sent to investigate by their Managing Editor, Lois successfully avoids Clark to pursue the story on her own, despite the danger. The balding scientist has a bird on his shoulder that, in typical Fleisher style, displays various human mannerisms throughout this, which is particularly creepy when it frowns.


Lois gets captured, just before the scientist destroys one of the city's fine-looking bridges - specifically the famous Tower Bridge. Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before stripping off and changing in silhouette behind the stock room door, responsibly turning the light off when he finishes.

Though initially overcome by the ray, Superman redoubles his efforts and fights back.


Balding scientist who looks not entirely dissimilar to Victor Meldrew: "I don't believe it! He isn't human!" (maybe he should take another look at his pet)

Superman destroys the machine, saves Lois and puts the scientist behind bars, although the malevolent-looking bird escapes.

Back at the Daily Planet…

Managing Editor: "Congratulations Lois! That was a great scoop!"

Lois: "Yes Chief - thanks to Superman."

Clark grins at the audience and winks.

#2
The Mechanical Monsters
(released 28th Novermber 1941)

A mad inventor with a moustache has created an army of robots who can transform into aeroplanes. When one of them breaks into the museum where Lois and Clark are covering a story about jewellery, Clark bravely stands his ground, but Lois drags him to safety, before she stows away inside the robot's hold. After phoning the story in, Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before returning to the same phone box to strip off and change in silhouette.

"Empowered with x-ray vision" for one episode only, Clark fails extract Lois from the robot while it's in flight, and forgets that he can fly too, as he is overcome by its manoeuvres and falls into some power cables. Redoubling his efforts, he's then overcome by the whole robot army, but redoubles his efforts again, captures the inventor, and even saves Lois from being lowered into a boiling vat of acid. (these scientists)

Back at the Daily Planet…

Clark: "That's a wonderful story, Lois."

Lois: "Thanks Clark, but I owe it all - to Superman."

#3
Billion Dollar Limited
(released 9th January 1942)

Four villains hijack a train carrying a billion dollars in gold bullion and Lois. Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before changing behind some boxes, with his enormous shadow projected onto the side of a Daily Planet van. The villains blow up one of the city's fine-looking railway bridges, but Superman still saves Lois. Overcome by tear gas, Superman redoubles his efforts and drags the train all the way to its destination.

Back at the Daily Planet…

Clark: "Uncanny how Superman turns up just when you need him!"

Lois: "I didn't even get a chance to thank him."

Clark smiles at the audience.

#4
The Arctic Giant
(released 27th February 1942)

Best yet!


In true Danger Mouse style, the opening narration tells us that a tyrannosaurus has been found frozen in ice and, tastefully, put on display "in this country."

Then some clever professor realises that, if the ice block melts, then the monster might still be alive.

Daily Planet City Editor Perry White: "Lois, there's a new angle on that frozen monster story. Get over to the museum and see what's doing. They've got him in a special refrigerator."

In silhouette behind a door, Lois puts on her gloves and hat, before leaving Clark behind because he'd probably faint if he saw the monster, because he scares so easily.

Clark: (out loud to audience while visibly slacking off) "Maybe she's right, but Superman hasn't fainted yet!"

Next… do I really need to finish this sentence?

Straight afterwards, while everyone else runs outside or prepares to shoot the monster, Lois runs back into the museum to phone-in the story, getting trapped in rubble. The monster then destroys one of the city's fine-looking railway bridges.

Over at the Daily Planet, Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before stripping off and changing in silhouette behind another door, and posing for a moment, before leaping across town to save Lois. (he chooses jumping over flying in this one) The monster then destroys another of the city's fine-looking bridges, before eating Lois for taking his photo. Superman saves her a second time, and the monster ends its days humanely chained-up in the park zoo.


Back at the Daily Planet, Lois is putting on make-up and showing off her legs, while Clark is getting a bit sarky…

Clark: "You showed plenty of courage getting that monster story, Lois."

Lois: "Thanks, but where were you?"

Clark: (mugging at the camera) "Me? Ohh, I must have fainted!"

#5
The Bulleteers
(released 27th March 1942)

Three villains have built a battering-aeroplane shaped like a giant bullet, which they use to knock-out the city's power, which among other things freezes one of its fine-looking movable bridges.

Lois drives off abandoning Clark, who remarks "This looks like a job for Superman" before changing in silhouette in a phone box. Lois gets trapped under rubble, so Superman saves her. Then Superman gets trapped under rubble, so Lois climbs over the top of him and gets captured. Redoubling his efforts, Superman saves Lois and defeats the bulleteers.

Outside the Daily Planet, Clark walks with Lois on his arm as they admire her story on the paper's front cover.

Clark: "Nice going, Lois! Another great scoop for you!"

Lois: "It is easy, thanks - to Superman!"

#6
The Magnetic Telescope
(released 24th April 1942)

Cops cause a mad scientist with glasses, thick eyebrows and a bald head to accidentally bring the comet Vulcan careering down towards the city. Despite the danger, Lois remains in the scientist's crumbling headquarters to phone the Daily Planet's City Editor, and scream in terror down the line at him. This is the first episode in which Clark does not change in silhouette, instead making do with the back of a cab.

Superman rescues Lois, but discovers that he is not super-powered enough to divert a crash-landing comet, nor prevent its debris from destroying one of the city's fine-looking bridges. Redoubling his efforts, Superman instead uses his powers to fix the machine that attracted the body in the first place, so that Lois can switch it into 'reverse' mode.

In the dark, Lois thinks she sees Superman enter.

Lois: "Oh, Superman! You were wonderful!"

Clark: (chuckles) "You were pretty wonderful yourself!"

(Clark turns the light on)

Lois: (taking her hands off of Clark's chest) "Oh. How did you get here?"

Clark: (still chuckling) "Thanks to - Superman!"

#7
Electric Earthquake
(released 15th May 1942)

I can see a pattern emerging here.

Another mad scientist - this time an American-Indian one - has built an earthquake machine that threatens the city. Perry White labels him a crank, so Lois investigates the story anyway despite the danger and gets captured. The scientist causes an earthquake which destroys, among other things, one of the city's fine-looking bridges.

Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before stripping-off and changing while masked by falling rubble.


Then Supes gets overcome by the odds and, in a particularly Fleisher moment, one of the cables actually seems to come to life and tries to strangle our hero. (no smiling face on it though)

Then he redoubles his efforts, rescues Lois, and eventually wins.

On a boat passing Manhattan Island, Lois and Clark reflect on their recent adventure.

Clark: "Y'know Lois, the old island looks just as good as ever."

Lois: "That's right Clark - thanks to Superman."

#8
Volcano
(released 10th July 1942)

No villains in this, so we open with narration again, (with dirt on the lens) but this time the disaster is the erupting volcano of Monokoa.

In a scene apparently set before the final shot of the last episode, Perry White sends Lois and Clark (seemingly awaiting their cue at the start) off on a boat to investigate the mount, demanding "I want you to send me some real stories!" (I guess the last seven submissions have been a bit mundane) Then he apparently admonishes Clark "For Pete's sake, see if you two can work together for a change!"

Clark: "Right, Chief!"

He also pointedly gives them two press passes.

However, Lois steals Clark's press pass before voluntarily following the story into danger and getting trapped.

Oh yeah, and the volcano's erupting.


Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before stripping-off and changing in silhouette in the local Police Station. Then Supes gets overcome by the odds, rescues Lois, redoubles his efforts and fixes the machine that blows-up the opposite side of the volcano to divert the lava flow.

On the boat back home, Lois is typing-up the story when Clark enters.

Clark: "How's the story coming, Lois?"

Lois: "Oh, fine, Clark! Too bad you weren't in on it."

Clark: (finding his press pass poking out of her handbag) "Maybe I would've been, if I hadn't lost my pass."

Despite both neg and print tram-lines, the animation on this one still looks gorgeous.

#9
Terror On The Midway
(released 28th August 1942)

Terrible picture quality.


Perry White sends Lois and Clark to the circus, where a giant gorilla escapes. Lois voluntarily follows the story into danger and gets trapped. Clark says "This is a job for Superman", strips-off to change in silhouette in a tent, and immediately gets mauled by a panther.

Though initially overcome by the animals, Supes redoubles his efforts, rescues Lois, and either smothers the fire in his cape off-camera, or leaves the big top to burn down. (I didn't really get that ending)

Back at the Daily Planet, Lois is typing-up her story, while Clark fools about with a camera.

Clark: "Lucky Lois always gets her story."

Lois: (finishing it) "And luckily she lived to write it."

Clark: (taking photo of her) "Thanks to… Superman?"

The opportunity to animate a brightly coloured circus gives Fleisher the opportunity to look like a Fleisher cartoon again.


#10
Japoteurs
(released 18th Spetember 1942)

Lois and Clark have been sent to cover the test flight of a new bomber aeroplane, which Lois stows-away on. Having taken off by taxiing past the same town six times (Fleisher must have been running out of budget), it gets hijacked by Japs hiding in the missiles, who plan to fly it to Tokyo.

Back on the ground Clark says "This looks like a job for Superman" before stripping-off and changing in silhouette in a lift. Supes boards the plane but is overcome by the Jap's threatening to kill Lois, so he leaves.

Redoubling his efforts he returns, rescues Lois, gets held-up by a locked door and lands the plane in his hands in a street. Then in the epilogue, Clark and Lois go for a ride on another aeroplane… at the fun fair!

Clark: "Well, you're safe in this plane, Lois."

Lois: "I'd feel much safer if Superman were here."

Ha, ha!

#11
Showdown
(released 16th October 1942)


Lois and Clark are sent by the kid from Mad Magazine (who sounds suspiciously like Bugs Bunny, with as many teeth) to cover the opera.

Here, Lois has a tussle with a pickpocket who is cunningly disguised as a doppelganger Superman. (I guess he figures he's less likely to get spotted in that costume) Clark says "Well - my double's in for some trouble" before stripping-off and changing in the theatre's roof-stairwell.

Supes flies the villain back to his boss' place where he confronts them both, but is overcome by a trapdoor. Redoubling his efforts he climbs back up the shaft (I guess he'd banged his head and forgotten he could fly) and then quickly flies-off (d'oh!) to save Lois and the police from a head-on collision with the villains' car.

Back at the Daily Planet, Lois returns to find Clark asleep in a chair.

Lois: "Boy, have I got a story! What's the matter, Bright Eyes, the opera get you down?"

Clark: "Well, just been dreaming I was Superman."

Lois: "Hmm - fine Superman you'd make."

Clark: "Well, I can dream can't I?"

They're improvising now, aren't they?

#12
Eleventh Hour
(released 20th November 1942)

Lois and Clark have been sent to Yokohama, Japan to cover a saboteur who's cunningly disguised as a doppelganger Superman. Well, that's the best explanation I can come up with. After wrecking one of the Japanese army's boats, Superman's double heads for the two adjoining rooms where the real Superman and Lois have been interned, and changes back into Clark Kent, with both a silhouette on the wall and his back to the camera.

Gasp - what's happened to the real Superman? No, wait, that is our Superman.

Sorry, I forgot, it's 1942. Apparently sabotaging the Japs was the right thing to do in those days. They should really put-up some topical headlines on the start, like they do before the reruns of Drop The Dead Donkey. Come on - they use Daily Planet headlines almost every episode as it is!

SIRENS BLARE

Lois: "Oh Clark? Are you awake?"

Clark: "I'll say! Who could sleep through a racket like this?"

Lois: "It's been going on every night since we've been interned. What do you suppose it could be?"

Clark: "Could be… sabotage, I hope!"

Lois: "Me too! But who? Clark! Do you suppose…?"

Clark: "Yes Lois?"

Lois: "Oh, nothing. Just a silly hunch that maybe… Superman might be over here."

She knows, doesn't she?

Well, the Japs seem to. In English, they plot through their Japanese teeth to kidnap "the American girl reporter" and hold her hostage, pending the cessation of hostilities. Most bewilderingly, they hold her in the same town. What - is there a war on or something?

Supes has obliviously continued with his attacks, including having blown up one of Yokohama's fine-looking bridges, but is ultimately overcome by a lot of falling girders, which bury him.

As Lois is bravely marched blindfold before a firing squad, the man of steel learns of her fate, redoubles his efforts and, chancing upon her location, saves her. (whew!) Then the soldiers, upon seeing their bullets bounce off of him, ingeniously suppose that hitting him with their gun-barrels might work better.

On a boat heading home, Lois is surrounded by pink-skinned reporters.

Reporter #1: "Miss Lane!"

Reporter #2: "This way, please!"

Reporter #3: "How does it feel to be home?"

Reporter #4: "Smile please!"

Reporter #5: "Ahh, how about Clark Kent? Did he get away?"

Lois: (distantly) "No. No he's still over there. But don't worry - Superman promised to look after him."

To his triumphant theme music, at eleven o'clock every night Superman continues blowing-up Japan. That'll teach them to replace all their clock-chimes with gongs.

#13
Destruction Inc.
(released Christmas Day 1942)


The kid from Mad Magazine is back!


Oh sure, he has a few more teeth now and a slightly different face, but what do we care about such details?

Talking to camera, he tells us his name(s):

Mad kid: "Lois?! Me name is Louis, not Lois! Geef whizz, everybody interpolates me name wrong. It's Louis! L-O-U-I-S - Lois. Err, ah, Louise. (hic) Er - Lucy! Now I'm so mixed-up, I don't know who I am!"

Given the newspaper industry's reputation for mis-spelling names, no good can come of this.

Having listened to the high street radio, Lois and Clark each go undercover at the Metropolis Munitions Works, to investigate the death of its elderly watchman. Clark lands the job as the new watchman, but to do so dresses up as an old guy so that Lois won't recognise him.

When Lois gets captured, bound, gagged and encased in the body of a test torpedo (bad day or what), Clark is overcome by some falling junk. Redoubling his efforts, he strips off and changes under the pile before saving Lois and bringing the perpetrators to justice.

At the end, Clark re-approaches Lois in his disguise, but she's not as galactically stupid as he looks…

Lois: "Well Pop, Superman put an end to their little act, aaand (whips off his disguise) this puts an end to yours, Clark Kent!"


#14
The Mummy Strikes
(released 19th February 1943)

Pretending that he is off to visit his medical doctor, Clark goes to visit archaeologist Dr. Wilson in a replica tomb at the Egyptian museum. Still developing her ability to tell when he is lying, Lois sneaks along too.

Unaware that the cartoon is less than eight minutes long, Dr. Wilson bravely invests a whopping three of them on a monologue narrating the backstory of the mummified King Tush - complete with maps and heiroglyphics - and proves that the falsely accused Jane Hogan is innocent of murder. (he also sounds a lot like the guy who'd accused her just two scenes earlier)

Just then Clark accidentally restores Tush's mummies to life (zoiks!), just in time for them to capture Lois (D'OH!).


Thrown into a mummy-casket, Clark uses the coffin to change into Superman Hong Kong Phooey-style. Bursting out, he is overcome by falling rocks from the replica tomb. Redoubling his efforts, he escapes and rescues both Lois and Dr. Wilson from a fire that has started, before once more burying the undead under falling masonry.

Back at the Daily Planet, Clark finishes typing-up the story as Lois' hands are still bandaged from the struggle. Clark has his own medical issue though, apparently sporting a new voice?

Clark: "Jane… Hogan… set… free. Hah-ha! This one time I've scooped you, Lois!"

Lois: "Yes, lucky for you I was hurt."

Clark: "Incidentally, who told you I was at the museum?"

Lois: (ruefully) "My mummy dun tole me."

Despite the title, no mummies refuse to work during this episode, unless this is the version of Lois from Superman Returns.

On a technical level, this is a muddy print that contains jump-cuts and seems to be out-of sync. At one point a phone keeps ringing after it's been answered. At another Clark says "Lois!", but we only hear it after his mouth has finished moving.

The audio source seems to keep changing too.

#15
Jungle Drums
(released 26th March 1943)

Over the jungle, Lois' plane is shot down by the Germans, or is it the Russians? I can never tell the difference, it doesn't matter anyway.

Either way, the evil fiends are also controlling the restless natives by masquerading as some sort of god.

Lois is captured and, having lost the papers containing the whereabouts of the American naval convoy, is burned at the stake. Clark flies (in a plane) over the area and parachutes down to strip off in silhouette and change into his suit. And then into Superman.

Bursting through the flames, he rescues Lois, but is overcome by some shell-fire. Redoubling his efforts, he escapes and defeats the villains, while Lois bravely changes into her secret identity as an evil Nazi to comandeer their radio to warn the Yanks. Just as the Nazis are about to fire upon the American navy convoy, the US Air Force bomb the evil subs to a watery grave! Hoo-rah!


Back at the Fürher's secret hideout, in the middle of a thunderstorm, Adolf Hitler finishes listening to the radio news in English in disgust.

News: "The war department goes on to say that during this action an entire fleet of Axis submarines was destroyed by American dive-bombers, affording the troop ships a safe crossing."

Hitler snaps off the radio in disgust, as the closing music triumphs:

"For the mighty mission,
Praise the LORD,
And pass the ammunition,
And we'll allll, beeeee, freeeeeee!"

#16
The Underground World
(released 18th June 1943)

Sent by the Daily Planet's ventriloquist editor Mr. White to report on some underground caves, Lois and her caver guide Henderson get captured (so between scenes), bound, and lowered towards a bubbling pool of fat.

Clark says "This is a job for Superman" before stripping off and changing in silhouette behind a boulder. Though initially overcome by the birdmen, he redoubles his efforts before saving Lois and Henderson, and blowing-up the savages.

This story seems to feature new voices for Clark, Lois and Mr. White, skips the fairly pivotal scene in which Lois and Henderson discover the savages and are captured by them, and then shows the whole tribe dancing below a statue of Henderson's father, which is never explained.

Most literally incredible moment however is the ending:

Back at the Daily Planet, Mr. White declines to print the story.

Mr. White: "It's really a great story Lois, but no-one would ever believe it."

At this, Lois and Clark understandably gape as Mr. White proceeds to set fire to and burn her story!


#17
Secret Agent
(released 30th July 1943)

It's the final episode, and the only instalment to not feature Lois. I'm assuming that she walked-out of the Daily Planet at the callous way in which her work was treated at the end of the last one.

Sent by the Daily Planet to cover a consumers meeting, via a phone call which even conveys the sound of Mr. White putting the receiver down at the end, Clark is shocked when a car careers through the window of the drugstore he is phoning from.

There's a chase in progress, with gunshots and everything. Hanging onto the back of the villains' car, Clark dupes them into taking him prisoner, and eavesdrops on their plans.

Though no-one ever mentions it, the head bad guy is clearly Adolf Hitler, or at least models himself on him:


He even has the German accent, and later, actual German dialogue! But that's nothing. The secret agent who his men were chasing, and who has been on Adolf's trail for six months now, is blatantly…


Lois!

Oh sure, no-one ever comments upon the likeness, but I guess in the world of Superman, where even Clark's spectacles form an effective disguise, the simple dying of one's hair will work miracles too. I mean she even sounds the same as Lois. Well, Lois' last voice.

Anyway, the blonde secret agent has an exhaustive list of the "biggest and most ruthless gang of saboteurs in the country", which she has to get to Washington, to stop "their diabolical plans of destruction".

Sure enough, on the way she gets trapped in some machinery, and lies there facing imminent death within the next two seconds for absolutely ages.

The bad guys drag Clark's supposedly unconscious body into a room, where he strips off and changes in silhouette behind a window, before trapping the Nazis in the lift. He then heads out to rescue the girl (presumably flying really quickly around the Earth to turn back time - that's the only way I can reconcile it), but is unable to preserve another of the city's fine-looking bridges.

He then flies the girl and her top secret info all the way to the Whitehouse in Washington DC, where he drops her off. Then as he flies past the ol' stars and stripes American flag, he salutes.

End credits.

Yup, the final episode features no scene back at the Daily Planet, so I have decided to do the responsible thing and make one up.

Back in Mr. White's office at the Daily Planet, Clark uses his x-ray and microscopic vision to surreptitiously scrutinise the secret agent's hair, discovering tiny traces of black hair dye! Gasps - she's actually Lois!

Clark: "But you are nothing like her! Do you mean to tell me, Lois, that all this time you've actually been a blonde uncover secret agent fighting the Nazis, and all those cases we've been on for the past six months were actually part of a complex covert piece of espionage to bring down Adolf Hitler and his dispicable Nazi regime?"

Mr. White: "I was in on it too. That's why I pretended to burn her story last week, so that her secret identity as 'Lois Lane' could legitimately quit and leave the city for Washington."

Lois: "It just goes to prove what a terrible reporter you are, Clark. There was the biggest news story in the world happening right under your nose, for 17 whole weeks, and you missed it. I can't believe you were so galactically stupid as to be fooled by a subtle thing like my dyed hair. Yes, I'm actually a crime fighter with a mild-mannered secret identity as a reporter for the Daily Planet, not that you could ever understand what that's like."

Clark: "Will you marry me?"

Well, I feel thoroughly inspired here, so even though that was the last episode ever made, what say we just keep on going anyway?

#18
End Of The Line
(not released 19th June 2010)

Everyone has new voices again, including the narrator Steve Allen.

With the Mayor having decided not to waste public funds on building any more bridges, trams have become the dominant form of transport in the city. This is bad news, because the super-intelligent bird from episode one has built a special "electromagnetic automotive". This is a tram with a giant electromagnet on the front, which can bend the metal tramlines up ahead and redirect them through the walls of Metropolis' major shops and boutiques.



Meanwhile, the Daily Planet's Executive Managing Editor Perry White fires Clark for missing so many stories that have happened right in front of him, and calling him 'Chief' all the time. Consequently, 'Lois' takes pity on him and offers to buy him a doughnut at the coffee shop in the city's funky Lassiters complex.

As they munch their pastries, Lois turns down Clark's earlier marriage-proposal, gently pointing-out that, as a top secret crime fighter, she really needs someone more heroic like herself. However, before Clark can even remove his spectacles, two metal rails smash through the window... as the electromagnetic tram strikes!

In the ensuing chaos, Lois says that she will go phone the story in, and arranges for Clark to bring the car around to pick her up from outside the next-door supermarket.

However, unemployed Clark's attention-span is intially overcome by an ad in the shattered shop window for someone to man the café's soup-counter. Turning the light off with his laser-vision, he declares "This looks like a job for Soup-Man" and strips off in silhouette in front of the broken shop-window to reveal a white apron. Redoubling his efforts, he grabs some ketchup and tries to smear an 'S' symbol onto it.

While Supes is distracted, Lois voluntarily follows the story back into danger, however the evil bird captures her and ties her to the rails in the tram's reverse exit-path.

The bird then flies off down the road, destroys the last of the city's fine-looking bridges, and then flutters back again.

Supes is waiting for him however, and captures the evil bird by luring it over with a medium quiche and a hot dog. Just then the cops arrive, and Superman hands the felon over to the US justice system, before helping himself to a Supersnack. (actually a crumbly biscotto)


Inspector Miller: "Ehhhhhh, heh-gee, Superman, let's unmask him and find out who he really is."

They unmask the bird and gasp.

Superman: "It’s old man Hitler who runs Europe like it's an amusement park!"

Hitler: "Acht! Und I'd have gotten avay viz it too, if it hadn't been for your medium quiche - and that 'dog!"

Superman: (still munching) "Quickly Louis, I mean Lyle, I mean Paul - take our photograph!

'Paul': "Oh my Stalin's Reiches!"

Daily Planet headline spins toward the screen: "Super Man Eats Fragile Biscuit - Ex-Beak Is Atrocious" Sub-heading: "Hit'N'Run Victim's Organ Donation Fails To Revive Rosanna".

We zoom-out to see Perry White framing the cover on his office wall, as an anxious Clark and Paul look on.

Clark: "… and then we used the villains' own tram to race straight back here at top speed, Chief."


Perry White: "Great Caesar's petfood, Kent, you've finally nailed an exclusive of your own! I guess that now I've printed this story, I've got tah hire ya back again to cover this new lead over at Paramount Pictures. We're a reporter down anyway since Lois vanished. Say Clark! Isn't she meant to be marrying you in this scene?"

Clark: (despondently) "No, no she was always far more interested in someone else…"


Paul: "Geef whizzer, crikey, golly, jeepers beezers, Mr. Kent, don't feel so blue, think of all the topper sparky dandy games you can have with your time now that you're a free agent again!"

Clark: "Yeees, I suppose…" (ruefully impersonates Lois) "… 'thankths, to Thoo-per-man', doy."

Camera pans back from the Daily Planet skyscraper.

Perry White: (V/O) "Oh, there's just one more thing, Kent!"

Clark: (V/O) "Yes Chief?"

Perry White: (V/O) "DON'T call me CHIEF!"

Clark: (V/O) "Okay Chief."

Perry White: (V/O) (groans) "OKAY, as of now I am officially trademarking the name 'Chief'… so that I can dock your pay every time you say it!!!"

Clark: (V/O) (thoughtfully) "Hmm, trademarking your name, ehh?"

Caption: "THE SUPER-BEGINNING®?"

(Sample episode on YouTube here)