Music For Biscuits - Lost Advertising And Rare Film Sounds by Mike Sammes & The Mike Sammes Singers

Words fail me.

Just how do I describe the unique sound of Mike Sammes and the enchanting Mike Sammes Singers?

Well, you've already read from the title that we're in the world of yesteryear's advertising jingles, so to put that into context let me explain that these tracks come predominantly from the 1960s.

Think girls harmonising, think electric organs with drums, think echoing xylophones, think loungey cornets and cheery tempos, think animated TV sports credits, think dancing sheep, happy sheep, sheep animated at four frames per second playing ring-a-roses with butterflies fluttering gaily past...

There - words didn't quite fail me.

Better yet, think Pink. Think day-long confidence, think lever dominance, think every store ablaze with massive floor displays, think pink... think Pink Marble Shield.

You getting the idea yet?

I know, I'll let the back of the CD do the work for me...

"This CD is a touch jazzy, a little insane, wonderfully scatty and dangerously addictive. You'll be singing these hooky little tracks for years to come..."

I can well believe it...

You're the tops, you're a tasty winner,
For a snack, breakfast, lunch and dinner,
You're the tastiest thing on toast at any time,
You are cheese, you're chicken, you're ham, you're turkey,
You're made by Heinz...
(You're made by Heinz!)
You're sublime, you're what toast was made for,
You're divine, what the family crave for,
You're all the things on top of toast we like...
And when toast is on the bottom...
You're the tops!

But even if the joys of Heinz Toast Toppers are not your thing, there's something on this album for everyone. For example, have you considered purchasing a new tractor recently?

Hitting a new high - the new Hydrostatic,
Four five-four, five-seven-four,
Biggest tractor-news in years,
No more need for changing gears,
Hitting a new high - the new Hydrostatic,
Four five-four, five-seven-four,
Tractors with the easy touch,
No more gearstick, no more clutch,
Just one lever does the trick,
So very smooth, simple and quick,
One little lever satisfies all needs,
Giving an infinitely variable choice of speeds,
Hitting a new high - the new Hydrostatic,
Four five-four, five-seven-four,
They work harder - you don't,
They work overtime - you won't!
International leads the way, with
Dramatically new,
Hydrostatically new,
Tractors of tomorrow...
Todaaay.

The hour of joy that this CD contains is tempered by the sleeve-notes. They tell the sad story of music-publisher Jonny Trunk's attempts to track-down Mike Sammes, only to instead learn of his very recent death, and find himself bizarrely standing in the man's house as his life's recordings were awaiting collection to be destroyed.

"Gordon was again insisting I take anything I wanted, and was still adding to the pile he had started for me next to the front door. There was a certain urgency about Gordon, and he really kept passing things to me - 'have it, take it, just take it cos it's all going... it's all being destroyed'."

It's a tribute to God, the human spirit and/or the wonderful world we live in that out of such a tragic event as a man's death, events can conspire to bring forth such an unashamedly happy-sounding CD as this one.

Goodnight Mike Sammes, and thank you for having so much sincerity.

Buy it here... NOW.
Related album reviews:

Stand By For Adverts! by Barry Gray
Hymns A'Swinging by The Mike Sammes Singers