Steve Goble

Choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Script: Gerry Conway
Art (#165-167): Sal Buscema
Art (#165): Stan Drake, Andy Mushynsky, Jack Abel, Mike Manley, Tom Morgan and Keith Williams
Lettering: Rick Parker
Color: Witterstaetter & Dell 'Orto (#165), Bob Sharen (#166-167)

'Allo, 'cor blimey, an' stone the bleedin' crows, me ol' shiner - well if it isn't Mister Spiderman 'imself, back in merrie olde Blighty for another cup o' char with the King. (Gawd bless 'im)*

(*Translation: This issue, Spider-Man visits England again, this time in 1990.)

So, where will it be orf to this time, guv'ner? The 'aaases o' parliament? The Taaaw'r o' Big Ben? Criminey, I know - 'ows abaat catchin' a yella cab f'r half a thr'penny-shilling-bit straight from London Airport daan to the local coal-mine?

Well, heh-heh, actually I jest. Yes, I've fooled you all. The cab actually costs him two-bob.

I suppose that Spider-Man could have travelled around London by bus, if only he had been able to recognise one...

Just what the heck is that - a caravan??? It even has the doors on the right-hand side!

Yes, the unrelenting intensity of the Americanised British stereotypes and clichés in these issues is truly a wondrous thing to behold. Just how many can you find in the next two panels? If you're not sure, then ask a cheery bobby on his beat to help you out.


1. The policeman utters the phrase "Right! What's all this then?"
2. The phrase "Oh, rawther!"
3. The phrase "Very good".
4. The phrase "old man".
5. The phrase "Here, here!"
5. The phrase "Nicely played, mate, nicely played!"
6. The word "mate" inside the phrase "Nicely played, mate, nicely played!" (I say this all the time)
7. The phrase "Oh, my, yes, very." (?!?)
8. The relentless rain!

In upcoming panels, Spider-Man progresses through the wet to what the narration names as "Scotland Yard". (meaning New Scotland Yard) Here the bowler-hatted Inspector MacDougal (sic) offers the lad some scones, pours him some tea from a china teapot, and kindly tells 'im the story of those two hooligans Mr. Knight and Mr. Fogg. Said tale twice includes the exclamation "ach".

But don't let me mislead you, for Spider-Man does not remain at "the Yard" in London for long. Oh no - for he quickly moves onto Leeverpoool.

There he falls into the Mersey and loses his memory, before having another fight in the rain with the aforementioned Mr. Knight and his ethereal partner Mr. Fogg. (who's fortunately coloured differently to all the actual British fog around him)

Meanwhile back across the briny blue in New York, on the set of the TV soap opera Secret Hospital, Mary Jane has to cope with her ongoing social life without Peter. Yes, a suave cad calling himself "Jason Jerome" is already moving in on her. He even takes her out in an old-fashioned horse-drawn cart, driven by a man in a top hat, apparently to subtly compare with the world of the main storyline, the bounder. However since the evil Mephisto will later retcon MJ's marriage to Peter out of continuity, none of that is worth reading now. The stakes just aren't the same.

'Ere now Mephisto - lately, you've been a bloody bore.

(bowler hat tip: Herschel)


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