Steve Goble

Choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

***Contains spoilers***
Let's get one thing straight at the start - whatever anyone may say, no matter who they may be, this TV series is entitled THE Flight Of The Conchords. It's right up there on the title card! :)

'Flight of the Conchords' (FOTC) are a music duo from New Zealand with their own highly popular US TV sitcom, which would be eponymous but that, as stated above, it has that whole extra "The" going on at the beginning.

It's also based upon their similar BBC Radio 2 series, but this article isn't about that, purely the TV version. After all, this version doesn't have Neil Finn in it. (I guess everywhere they went, they didn't always take Neil Finn with them)

Each week Bret Mckenzie and Jemaine Clement, as Bret and Jemaine respectively (whew!), wander through some sequence of events or other, usually falling out along the way, and always drifting off into at least two of their bizarrely tounge-in-cheek songs. Part sitcom and part music show, all the words in this series appear to have been carefully crafted to hit their target, resulting in quality all the way.

Well, most of the way.

Season two suffers from second album syndrome, with songs and videos that just aren't as good, and tend to feature the duo merely singing on-camera rather than with the psychedelic direction of some of season one. Also famous guest stars begin to make appearances, which breaks the deadpan believability of the world they stumble so ridiculously through. (I never recognised Rachel Blanchard in the first series - she looked so much younger than she did in Clueless) Season one is great! Season two, well, that's good as well.

Just listen to (or read even) the freedom with which their finely-honed scripts will repeatedly change subject and hence remain unpredictable:
[Opening of episode 8 Girlfriends: Bret and Jemaine are standing outside a bakery]
Jemaine [right]: "Come on man, I can't go in there by myself."
Bret [left]: "I don't like croissants."
Jemaine: "What was all that about just then?"
Bret: "What?"
Jemaine: "About you not liking croissants?"
Bret: "What are you talking about?"
Jemaine: "What are you talking about now?"
Bret: "I don't like croissants."
Jemaine: "I don't even know what you're talking about."
Bret: "I'm not going in there man."
Jemaine: "You gotta come in there with me, I can’t go in there by myself and buy a croissant can I - she'll think I'm weird. You have to back me up, you have to be what's called my wingman."
Bret: "Oh like in Top Gun."
Jemaine: "Stop comparing everything to Top Gun. It's not - this situation's nothing like Top Gun. 'Ooh it's like Top Gun!' Come on, it'll only take five minutes - we've been out here talking about it for two hours now."
[They enter the bakery and take the two female sales assistants cycling into a film-damaged Scopitone music parody, performed entirely in French, at least, until Jemaine remembers that he cannot speak French]

As you might have noticed, Bret and Jemaine both play the straight man in this, and as such there isn't much to distinguish their inner identities from each other. Similarly, words and phrases like "Could you please leave?" and interest in threesomes keep getting voiced by multiple characters, inevitably resulting in a lack of diversity among them, which is not necessarily a bad thing for this type of comedy. After all, like The Monkees, this is not a character-based comedy, but a joke-based one. Their repeated reveal that there has been an extra person in the room all along, rendering the entire conversation so far inappropriate, becomes something of a running gag, although not quite in the way that running gags are meant to.

I originally set out to watch one episode of this a week, but quickly found myself watching more like four at a time - I couldn't get enough! Come the end of the series, I went back to make some notes for this article, and lo and behold found myself pretty well watching the entire two seasons all over again. Clearly I was enjoying this!

One thing that does bug me though is the series' broader continuity. In one episode their manager Murray (Rhys Darby) gets a new computer. But then the following week he has his old one again. Oh, well, those clever old network schedulers have obviously been rearranging the episodes' order without watching them. When will they learn? But, hang on, this is a DVD, so what's the excuse now?

In another episode Murray's Honda Accord car crashes into a swimming-pool and has to be hauled away. Yet in subsequent episodes he's wordlessly driving it again, in fact right through the following series, and this despite having at one point actually acquired a different new car! Well, maybe his waterlogged car actually got repaired. Or perhaps Murray buys a third car that is identical to his first one, after all, that sounds like the sort of thing he would do. Either way, I need a line explaining this, precisely to avoid it feeling like I'm still watching these out of sequence.

Their multiple contradictory backstories are insane.

In another episode the first scene features Bret and Jemaine discussing at length how they have only ever owned one cup between them. Yeah… nah.

So, in case you are about to watch these two series for the first time, I have put together the following suggested viewing order to minimise these disruptions to the series' flow.

Broadly speaking, I've tried to preserve the transmitted order, and only tweaked it where I thought events needed it, and where it doesn't to me appear to have disrupted anything else. There may well be other background details that I've messed up, probably including things like furniture, but I've prioritised whatever the makers have drawn the viewer's attention to.

I mean okay, so there are two different opening credit sequences to waver between (for example like there were on Soap), and the cast may subtly age two years and back now and then, and some things just won't make sense whatever order you watch them in (the number of band photos available), but at least this time Murray won't take down and change his office poster only to change it back again a week later. And do feel free to ignore any signage out the front of the New Zealand Consulate - that makes no sense at all, even within individual episodes. (don't question why Bret and Jemaine splash out on new leather jackets either…)

Here we go:

1. Flight Of The Conchords TX#1: Sally

Plot: Jemaine goes out with Bret's ex-girlfriend Sally, thanks to turning the lights to very low while she's by the stereo. However they then come to a fork in the road which cuts like a knife. What she really wants is an Australian.


Central poster: New Zealand. Like Lord Of The Rings
A second poster materialises behind Bret and Jemaine mid-scene:
Murray has a laptop computer.
Jemaine's ex-girlfriends include Sarah Fitzpatrick, Michelle Fitzpatrick and Claire Fitzpatrick in New Zealand.
Landlord Eugene (played by the lugubrious Eugene Mirman) interjects that he is getting new taps for the building.
Video for "The Humans Are Dead / Robots" is recorded.
Greg (Frank Wood) speaks to Murray and ignores Bret and Jemaine.
Bret and Jemaine have one glass visible at their flat.
They perform no gigs.
Bret and Jemaine's flat has brown walls in this episode only.

2. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#3: Mugged

Plot: Despite being given a map, a reflector and instructions to stay away from crowds and stick to the back alleys, the Rhymenoceros and the Hiphopapotamus (rapping names) still get mugged. I guess they should have read the episode title.


Central poster: New Zealand - Cool!
Murray now uses a very old desktop computer.
Bret and Jemaine have eleven cups and one glass visible at their flat.
Murray has only ever got them one gig.
Bret and Jemaine meet mugger John.
Murray drives a dark green car.
One good photo (and others?) of Bret and Jemaine from their cameraphone are developed.
No Greg.

3. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#2: Bret Gives up the Dream

Plot: Inner city pressure causes Murray to fire Bret and replace him with a cassette, which works out better because the tape is cheaper, more consistent, and not as hairy. At a tourism expo, as well references to New Zealand's Te Pahu toothbrush fence and the Ohakune carrot, you can just make out a photo of the Tirau Sheep with the caption 'The Shed That's In The Shape Of A Sheep'.


Central poster: still New Zealand - Cool!
Murray still has the old computer.
Bret and Jemaine have a coffee flask and a soup dish visible at their flat.
Bret and Jemaine are poor.
Bret pawns the cameraphone.
Murray: "I haven't got you paid gigs for a while."
Murray seems to learn for the first time that Greg knows Bret and Jemaine.
Murray has had a photo of Bret and Jemaine printed on a consignment of mousepads.
Bret gets a job as a human billboard.
Jemaine appears to be composing the song Who Wants To Rock The Party.
Murray fires Bret, then arguably Jemaine also.
Jemaine performs two gigs solo.
Bret meets Coco.

4. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#4: Yoko

Plot: In both transmission order and this one, the fourth episode in a row to feature Bret and Jemaine falling out.


Central poster: New Zealand - Cool!
Murray has the old computer.
Bret and Jemaine have one cup visible at their flat. (yellow)
Bret begins going out with Coco.
Murray and Mel (Kristen Schaal) attend the 2nd annual fan club meeting, implying that Murray has been managing the band for at least one year.
Murray has some photos that he found at Bret and Jemaine's flat, including the one already used on the mousepads in Bret Gives Up The Dream, so I'll presume that he found them before that.
Murray invites Mel to keep a photo of himself topless, suggesting that he is currently single and does not yet know of her husband Doug (David Costabile).
Murray and Jemaine go on an Interesting Buildings Tour together.
Murray: "Bret shouldn't have a girlfriend, I told him!"
Murray advises Bret not to mix a girlfriend with music.
Bret resigns again: "Yeah well I'm quitting this band, yeah."
Jemaine: "Ah well you quit last week!"
(this is probably a reference to Murray's sacking him in Bret Gives Up The Dream, originally aired two weeks' earlier)

5. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#5: Sally Returns

Plot: Sally returns. In an astoundingly unexpected plot-twist, this does not cause the band to break up.


Central poster: New Zealand - Cool!
Murray has no computer visible.
Bret and Jemaine have at least five cups between them, and a flask.
Sally has watched the Humans Are Dead / Robots video online.
Bret refers to back when he and Jemaine knew each other at school.
Eugene refers to the apartment's new paint job.
Jemaine: "Do we have any gigs anyway?"
Murray: "Ah yes, I've got an answer for that… no."
Bret makes an embroidery of Sally's face.
Bret gets ditched by Coco.

6. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#6: Bowie

Plot: "Weird Al" Yankovic and Professor Kettlewell's giant robot from Doctor Who appear as photos. David Bowie appears as stardust.

Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray has the old computer.
Bret gets through two cups.
Murray: "We've got A photo", but it was taken by Bret and doesn't have Jemaine in. Murray's only 'other' photo of them has Bret's face stuck over Jemaine's ex-girlfriend Claire. (presumably Claire Fitzpatrick, as identified in Sally)
Greg does a photoshoot of the duo using a passport camera.
At some point in the past they have been on a tour, but the location is not specified.
The futuristic birthday card plays The Humans Are Dead / Robots song.

7. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#8: Girlfriends

Plot: Bret and Jermaine get new girlfriends.


Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray still has the old computer.
Bret and Jemaine have 4 cups visible.
Bret and Jemaine go out with Lisa and Felicia.
Murray: "Look I've told you this before guys, okay, I don't wanna have to, y'know, back-pedal and repeat myself but, it's like I said when you [Bret] were with Coco: Bands shouldn't have girlfriends. Okay? You lose your female fan-base."
Murray refers to himself and Shelley last Christmas, it's unclear whether they are still together.
Murray plays an excerpt of the song Who Wants To Rock The Party.

8. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#12: The Third Conchord

The final episode of season one.
Plot: Murray broadens his portfolio to also manage The Original Flight Of The Conchords and the Crazy Dogggz, the latter of whom get to number one in 24 countries in just one month. "He's like the pied piper of cool!"


Central poster: still New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray has the old computer.
Bret and Jemaine have four cups visible and a glass.
There are several gigs.
They sing The Humans Are Dead / Robots.
Murray remarks that Bret is always quitting.
Murray gets a new open-topped BMW sports car.
Jemaine says that no-one attended their recent gig.

9. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#13: A Good Opportunity

The first episode of season two.

Murray: "I don't need you guys! You're un-needed? Okay, I've got the Crazy Dogggz? They're making hit after hit! Doggy Bounce - number one, Doggy Dance - number five, In The Pound - number 37? That's not gonna stop - it's never gonna stop! They're a hit-making machine!"

Plot: It stops. Everything returns to exactly the same way as it was before in just 26 minutes. The way in which Murray gets his old job back is pure genius.

Central poster: should really still be New Zealand - Why Not?, but it isn't, so they've used the old New Zealand - Cool! one as a stand-in for it, and folded it over itself to disguise it! Hence the first word 'New' is all that has been left visible above, because that is the same first word of both posters.
Likewise, if Murray does has a computer, then it is also carefully hidden from us, again because in this second series it would be the wrong one. I'd better not look too closely at the rest of that office.
Bret and Jemaine have no cups visible.
Library gig.
Bret's dad is/was a sheep lawyer.
Murray has similar dull green car to earlier Honda Accord again.
According to Greg's account of Murray's phone messages, at least seven months have elapsed since The Third Conchord.

10. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#7: Drive By

Plot: Bret and Jemaine become victims of racism, until they realise that it's all been a simple misunderstanding.


Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray has a new computer installed.
Bret and Jemaine have 4 cups visible.
Bret and Jemaine are surprised to learn that Murray is now separated from his wife, despite his having earlier moved in with them for a month, during which time they had to talk him down from the roof.
They receive a videotape from New Zealand of The Dog Show and Albi The Racist Dragon #6. I love the advert.

11. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#9: What Goes On Tour

Murray: "I'm so livered with you turkeys - you're like a couple of cool looking idiots!"

Plot: Bret, Jemaine and Murray go on a warm-up tour to prepare for their biggest gig ever - Central Park.


Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray has no computer visible.
No scenes take place at Bret and Jemaine's apartment.
Bret and Jemaine learn of the existence of the band's Emergency Fund.
Bret is surprised that Murray and Shelley are back together again.
They play several gigs.
Murray has FOTC CDs with the Union Flag and a photo of Bret and Jemaine on the cover.
Jemaine: [to Murray] "You can't quit the band! Bret usually quits the band!"
Bret causes significant water-damage to Murray's Honda Accord. Just ignore this.

12. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#10: New Fans

Plot: Bret and Jemaine get a new fan each, trippling their fanbase.


Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray still has the new computer.
Bret and Jemaine have one cup visible.
They play a gig.
They sing Who Wants To Rock The Party.
They get new fans called Summer and Rain.
Murray reveals that Bret and Jemaine's bedroom and lounge are being monitored by a live web-cam.

13. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#11: The Actor

Plot: Murray negotiates a $2million deal for the band with a major label - Sony. Too bad he never thought of that (in either order) while he had all that clout as manager of the Crazy Dogggz.


Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not?
Murray still has his new computer.
No scenes take place at Bret and Jemaine's apartment.
They play a gig.
Bret wears his Sally embroidery as a t-shirt.
The song Cheer Up, Murray refers to his 03 Accord car, how his wife comes and goes and met someone on the net, and that Murray's 33rd birthday party was attended apparently only by Bret, Jemaine and Greg.
Murray appears to have first met Bret and Jemaine 1½ years ago when they had lost their passports and come into the consulate.
Murray: "I haven't seen any record deals." Yes, I know I should have left this episode before Murray's management of the Crazy Dogggz, but in that story he still had his old computer, so what are you gonna do?

14. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#14: The New Cup

Jemaine: "I knew if you bought a cup I would end up in jail."

Plot: Bret buys a new tea cup for $2.79.


Central poster: Woolcome to New Zealand.
Murray has a new new computer.
Bret and Jemaine have one cup, and have always owned just one cup (despite the evidence of the opening credits), which they have always shared. They even have a cup roster. Until this episode when Bret buys a second cup, and a month later all Hell breaks loose.
Jemaine: "Why would we need two cups?"
Two gigs, which is more than the number of guitars they have available.
Bret asks about the band's Emergency Fund.
Bret and Jemaine apply to the government for some biscuits.
They sing The Humans Are Dead / Robots twice.
Bret refers back to Sally.
There is a boom briefly visible in the darkness at 13:20. Just sayin'.
Bret is still employed as a human billboard.
Jemaine phones his ex-girlfriend Carol, who he knew in February last year, so they have been based in New York for at least a year.

15. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#15: The Tough Brets

Plot: The Rhymenocerous disses other rappers. Murray gets dissed by Jim Robinson, who bizarrely becomes a body double in the immediately following video.


Central poster: Woolcome to New Zealand, then later New Zealand - Better Than Old Zealand.
Murray has no computer visible, but Greg has a new-looking one.
Bret and Jemaine have 1 or 2 cups visible.
Another library gig.
Bret uses his rapping name.
Jemaine says Shelley has left Murray.

16. Flight Of The Conchords: TX#16: Murray Takes It to the Next Level

Murray: "Let's have a look at the friend-agenda. The afrienda."

Plot: Murray gets the guys a gig in his workplace's elevator, but when they presume to play table tennis on his desk, they take advantage of his friendship so badly that he forgets who they are.


Central poster: none, then later New Zealand - It's Not Going Anywhere.
Murray has his new new computer.
Bret and Jemaine have a flask.
They discuss past gigs, including ones on a raft and in a campervan.
They do a gig in a lift.
Murray wants to become Bret and Jemaine's friends, rather than their colleagues. He seems to have forgotten going on the Interesting Buildings Tour with Jemaine in Yoko, and living with them for a month before Drive By.
Murray appears to live alone.
They play Who Wants To Rock The Party.
Murray drives a silver car.
Murray ends the episode with a best friend called Jim.

17. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#18: Love Is The Weapon Of Choice

Plot: Bret and Jemaine both write songs about the plight of epileptic dogs, and put on a benefit concert to raise awareness of the issue. They succeed. Spectacularly.


Central poster: New Zealand - Ewe Should Come.
Murray has no computer visible.
Bret and Jemaine have no cups visible.
Murray has been their manager for two years minimum, or at least has records of meetings going back that far.
Despite all the talk of writing a song about dogs, nobody even mentions the Crazy Dogggz or their back-catalogue.
Murray appears to be single as he comes onto Brahbrah a bit.
They put on a benefit gig.

18. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#19: Prime Minister

Jemaine: "So we look like some Simon & Garfunkle look-alikes who don't look like Simon & Garfunkle."
Murray: "That's right. What a blessing!"

Plot: Murray becomes personal aide to the Prime Minister (Bryan), and has to set up a meeting with President Obama at the Whitehouse. First however he has to convince them that New Zealand is a real country.


Central poster: New Zealand Only 18 hours from New York.
Murray has new new computer.
Bret and Jemaine have no cups visible.
They recently did a gig at a karaoke bar.
Jemaine: "You've been managing us for two years!"
Murray says they are still in a learning phase.
They do a gig as Simon & Garfunkle look-alikes.
Bryan (the Prime Minister of New Zealand) arrives.
The previous Prime Minister was called 'John'.
Rt Hon Bryan PM: [regarding his business card] "Yes I know it says John, that was the last Prime Minister, we had 3,000 of those printed, we couldn't just throw them away! Still the same number though isn't it Murray?"
Murray: "Same phone number, basically when you call up just ask for Bryan not John. Changes every three years."
Jemaine sleeps with Karen.

19. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#20: NewZealandTown

Plot: Bryan (the Prime Minister of New Zealand) creates a little piece of home in the big apple. Meanwhile Bret and Jemaine suffer withdrawal symptoms from hair gel and hide in their apartment, forgetting that it is monitored by a live web-cam. (whatever)


Central poster: New Zealand - Like Scotland But Further.
Murray has no computer visible, although yet another new one appears in a deleted scene.
Bret and Jemaine have no cups visible.
Bret and Jemaine play a gig at which most of the audience are shopping bags.
Murray: "One person. This is a new low."
Murray: [later]"0 people. This is a new low." (he's presumably unaware of the gig in The Third Conchord)
Bret and Jemaine play a gig at the opening night of NewZealandTown.

20. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#21: Wingmen

Plot: To ask out a girl, Bret uses an idea from a sitcom, which he reasons ought to work properly in real life.


Central poster: New Zealand - Worth A Go.
Murray has no computer visible.
Bret and Jemaine have 1 cup and 1 glass visible.
Jemaine watches The Dog Show.
Bret says Jemaine always hits on his girl. Eugene agrees.
Murray refers to Shelley in the past tense.
Jemaine gets his mugger friend John from Mugged to help them.
Bret gets together - briefly - with Savannah, still forgetting about the live web-cam.

21. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#17: Unnatural Love

Plot: Jemaine accidentally starts dating an Australian.


Central poster: New Zealand - Take Your Mum.
Murray has no computer visible.
Bret and Jemaine have two cups.
Murray drives a green Honda.
Bret's biscuits arrive.
When they first met each other, Jemaine tried to have Bret deported from New Zealand for being an Australian. (he was wearing a vest top which his (Bret's) mum thought would make him look like Bruce Willis) As Sally Returns states that they knew each other at school, this was quite enterprising.
In the song Carol Brown, Jemaine lists his ex-girlfriends Loretta, Joan, Jen, Jan, Lisa, Felicity, Emily, Fran, Bruce, Flo, Mimi, Britney, Paula, Persephone, Stella, Stefanie, Mona, Tiffany and Carol Brown. Lisa is not the Lisa from Girlfriends, while Carol Brown is presumably the same Carol he telephoned in The New Cup. There is no mention of Sarah, Michelle, Claire, Sally or Felicia, so I wanted to move this earlier, but...
In the final scene they get robbed of almost everything they own by Keitha, leaving their apartment deserted of furniture. Of course, their flat is monitored by a live web-cam, and they know where she lives anyway. I've suggested moving this episode back to here due to the number of subsequently broadcast episodes that featured their apartment normally furnished again.

22. The Flight Of The Conchords: TX#22: Evicted

Murray: "I think it might be time guys."
Jemaine: "What for?"
Murray: "To stage your lives as an off-broadway musical."

Plot: Evicted for being two years overdue with the rent, Bret and Jemaine stage an off-broadway musical about their time in New York.


Central poster: It's not boring in New Zealand.
Murray has no computer visible.
Bret and Jemaine have 1 cup and about 7 glasses visible.
Bret and Jemaine's landlord Eugene has today tried to cash all of the pair's rent checks for the last two years only to realise that they are in New Zealand dollars. (most of them would have expired by now anyway) With $7,727 USD back-rent outstanding, Eugene gives them a month's notice of eviction. (neither of them think to check how much is still in that account, given that Eugene has never drawn upon it)
This first scene is the only one set in their apartment, and is set a month before the rest of the episode begins on November 1st. Given the flat's furnishment, this opening can therefore be viewed as a prologue set prior to their total burglary by Keitha in Unnatural Love, hence my suggesting moving that episode back to immediately before this one. Of course, you could argue that the five episodes originally broadcast between that episode and this one could all have taken place in that month, but I find that too much of an ask.
Jemaine still has his cameraphone.
Murray is still living alone. The guys decline to sleep on Murray's floor when they learn that he had to leave the army due to seeking people out in his sleep to grope them. You would have thought that their shared accommodation in What Goes On Tour would have reassured them on this count.
Bret and Jemaine now first met while they were both working as shepherds in nearby paddocks, and a couple of Jemaine's sheep had wandered over into Bret's paddock. I guess we have to assume that that day Bret was working in a vest top (Unnatural Love), and that since his dad was a sheep lawyer and not a farmer (A Good Opportunity), this was holiday work from the school that they hadn't met at yet. (Sally Returns)
The play includes reenactments of events from Prime Minister, Mugged and The New Cup.
Technically, the play's opening night is their final (to date) US gig.
The series concludes with Bret, Jemaine and Murray returning to New Zealand.

23. Flight Of The Conchords & Friends: TX#23: Feel Inside (And Stuff Like That)

Plot: Still in NZ, Murray convinces the duo to release a charity single for the local Red Nose Day, so the pair ask Kiwi kids for advice on what to write about. For example:

Bret: "What does the Prime Minister like spending his money on?"
Kid wearing New York City top: "A chair, or a sofa."

Bret later singing lyrics to final song: "John stop blowing all the money on couches."

Central poster: New Zealand - Why Not Moove Here?
Murray has no computer visible.
No scenes are set at their apartment in New York.
In August 2012, Murray and the guys haven't spoken for three years.
With Bryan's three-year term complete, the NZ premiership has been reclaimed by John again. Hope they still had some of those cards left over.
Murray ought to be present at the recording studio, smiling and nodding his head enthusiastically like a muppet, but he isn't. I guess Bret might have found that derivative.
Jemaine has really let himself go.

This telethon sketch cum minisode is the duo's, well, trio's really, final outing to date. While another TV series has long-since been ruled-out, that has been talk of a movie, well, I mean there's always talk of a movie isn't there? All the same, I find it very hard to believe that we've seen the last of Bret, Jemaine and their long-suffering manager Murray.

Until next time then, I'm not crying... no I'm - I'm not cryin'...

(mostly available here)

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