Steve Goble

Choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Doctor Who does Pirates Of The Caribbean, and thankfully without anyone calling themselves Captain Jack.

In borrowing from a different legend, this appears to be this season’s equivalent of last year's Vampires Of Venice, although that’s not much of a recommendation.

Realising that the TARDIS is dematerialising, the Doctor abandons ship. Ummm...

The Siren can emerge only from still water. Then from any reflective surface. Then she’s emerging from choppy water again. Uhhhhh...

Regarding CPR, Amy utters the always unwise cliché “This isn’t a movie”, before extremely badly having a go anyway and, against all real life probability, actually restoring Rory to both health and consciousness. Hrrrrrrm...

Well, I didn’t much like The Vampires Of Venice either.

Well no hang on, it’s not really fair to say that I didn’t like this. It was okay. Well all right no it wasn't. Given the above points, it just didn’t seem to have much going for it, and what there was was sadly hidden underneath so much gloomy lighting and deafening music. Oh yes, and also behind Lady Gaga.

I mean come on Prime TV - that’s supposed to be an effects shot!

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