The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)

A compelling ride downhill.

The opening is simply spectacular. A flying saucer approaches Earth and lands. The optical effects are wonderful - the saucer even has the necessary shadow. It helps that this movie contains fantastic music throughout. The anticipation of just what that huge machine contains and why it has come to Earth creates tension that cannot be cut through with a blowtorch either.

Things gradually fall apart though. There's a shot of a crowd running away that has been comically sped-up. At the hospital, no-one thinks to photograph the alien's face. In all the public hysteria surrounding the alien humanoid's escape, no-one at the boarding house suspects that this mysterious newcomer just might be the wanted fugitive. When the world's electricity is switched off, this somehow stops cars. (all right, I don't know how cars work)

It's all rather well summed up by that army guy who pricelessly declares "I wish I could be more specific but, as you know, all communications are out. Telephone, radio, cable -- everything." ... just as someone hands him a communication!

As soon as he has served his purpose to the plot, the existence of Bobby the kid is immediately forgotten by everyone, apparently including his own mother.

It's a difficult context for the drama to overcome, which makes it all the more impressive that it does so. All four leads play this very well. As oppressive forces close in on Carpenter, the escalation of double-sided paranoia is conveyed very well indeed.

Since this film was made, the world has moved on a bit. The Russians are no longer considered a threat, scientists have made too many dud predictions to remain the voice of reason, and far fewer people wear hats now. Yet the characters and simple unfolding mystery here still overcome all this.

Well, right up until the film's frankly idiotic ending, which no amount of sincere acting or strong direction can save.

Klaatu: "For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets -- in space ships like this one -- and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression we have given them absolute power over us."

You… did… WHAT?

Idiots!

Mindless smug self-loathing reason-deficient Vista™-headed brain-donors.

Oh, so I suppose that now you just have to travel the universe threatening to genocide entire species in case they might disagree with what your precious police say. I guess you never found out about power's corruptive qualities.

Following their own example, I guess therefore the US army was morally justified in shooting him.

(available here)

Milkshake! Rocks!

When it comes to toddlers, I sometimes wonder why we even bother making new TV programmes.

After all, they are the one demographic who come to the TV with no expectations to pander to. Show them the latest episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! followed by 1955's The Woodentops, and they will have no way of discerning that one is 60 years older than the other. They'll have to judge them each on their merits.

So in this current age of austerity, just why do cash-strapped TV executives keep on bothering?

Channel 5's daily kids' programming is entitled Milkshake! This presents predominantly animated series, sometimes with sign language.

The jewel in the strand's crown is the similarly-titled The Milkshake Show.

To all intents and purposes, this is a remake of everything studio-bound from the 1970s. The individual segments are as generic as they come - puppets, jokes, a magic trick, an animation, a quiz sketch, a location report and a section featuring children shot at a school.

There are however two elements that give it an edge.

The first is the team of presenters, who much of the time actually appear to enjoy being there. I'd swear that in the Sense-Sational Quiz segment, contestants Beth and Kemi genuinely don't know the answers.

The second reason is the one why I bought this CD - the songs.

Seriously - many of them are fantastically life-affirming.

"Don't you give up,
Don't you give up,
No no,
Whoahooaaa!
Take a little help,
From those who care,
And just keep going,
You're nearly there…
Yes! We knew you could do it.
The smile on your face says you're glad you stuck to it,
Yes! We knew you could do it.
You faced the challenge and won…
Well done!"

Tracks like the above Yes! We Knew You Could Do It, You've Got To Dance, Party Fun In The Sun and Look At Me are songs for life, not to mention all the fun silly ones that are on here.

The tone throughout these is one of upbeat dance music, which is appropriate for a show with such an upfront agenda to also teach dance moves. You could easily use this as a workout CD. The moves to the Breaky Bop came straight back to me from the programme, even if all the lyrics weren't here. (ironically it's also a cut down of the extended mix from season 2)

Gutted that there wasn't also time for S.M.I.L.E. on here, more so because the running time has been filled out by other TV themes from the channel.

These are much more of a mixed bag. Fifi is so mesmerising that it might as well go on forever - the overall impression ought to be similar, in a good way. On the other hand, Rupert Bear could drive you to hang yourself.

I admit it - before listening to this I got myself an actual milkshake from the fridge to enjoy while listening to it. Then inside the CD's booklet, amongst colouring games etc., I found instructions from Naomi on how to make a milkshake, using only milk and bananas!

Maybe for breaky.

Letters To God

*** Contains spoilers ***

I haven't watched many Christian movies, but I guess my first reaction when I do tends to be to tense up.

For this genre, the pressure is really on. It's a major handicap that, from the outset, we already know what the film's message is going to be, which makes any attempt to approach it look contrived. There's also little freedom in its style - to be 'as good as' a secular movie, it bizarrely has to look and sound just like one, which runs a huge risk of blandness. No permission to break the mould with anything too creative here. Worst, the makers are simply not allowed to get anything wrong. Anything. Just one sub-convincing piece of acting is all it takes to bring the whole production's credibility crashing down like a ton of bricks.

Add to all that the minuscule budget that almost every niche movie has to make the whole thing fly with, and it's a wonder that any financier is willing to take the risk these days.

Letters To God hits a straight average, which in the circumstances is always going to be an achievement.

For me, its chief challenges lie in its editing. On this UK DVD, the telecine pulldown used has resulted in the picture freezing maybe once every second, which I got used to. Some of the close-up pans have a jerky background too. At the 23:33 mark there's an isolated shot of a box, a Bible and Tyler's letters that is, for its 11 second duration, mute. If this happened in a mainstream movie, then we'd assume that there was a reason for this creative decision, but in a Christian DVD it just looks like carelessness.

Over in the average corner, these 105 minutes are terribly slow. While this is again partly down to the editing, the main culprit is the actual performances.

There is a beat after almost every single line in the entire film.

If you take enough interest though, this can enable you to really connect with the characters and to care about them.

After all, everyone in this unbelievably nice.

Why wouldn't you like them?

Well, maybe because they take so long to exchange sentences.

All of which pulls the trigger very effectively for the dramatic developments of the final act. When Tyler dies, it's hardly unexpected, but the subtlety with which his letters to God (unashamedly a metaphor for prayers) have impacted those around him without his awareness of any of it is hugely life-affirming.

And that really is the film's strength. Most of the actors here are good, but the two central kids are absolutely excellent. This film would have been a disaster with anything less.

The film's Christian agenda also gives it some real edges over secular fare. As mentioned above, at the end, the main character dies. Dies. Not many Hollywood movies will get green-lit with a conclusion that might depress audiences and so discourage them from coming to see the film a second time.

I also already mentioned the prayer / community metaphor. God is in this film, but silently so that you only really notice his presence throughout after the end credits have rolled.

Well, that is if there were any end credits. Apparently they assumed this would get shown in churches, who love to show films and cut the credits off, so the makers have considerately already performed this service for us.

What?!?

Maybe it's a metaphor for eternal life.

(available here)

K9: The Korven

Another new alien materialises from the professor's space-time rift. This one kidnaps the professor, and once again it's up to rest of the gang to rescue him, as slowly as possible. Easy now everyone. Remember - if we catch the alien in a situation which we've already established is a moment of weakness for it, then the last thing we want to do is go charging in taking any advantage of it.

K9, you make sure you drain the last of your power reserves saving us again.

I have to admit, in episodes one and two I have been completely convinced by K9's presence in all of his scenes. That's a flying metal dog there! In this next episode though I'm afraid the illusion was shattered for me early on.


The pulling of CGI focus in this shot is careful, but just how far in front of or behind Starkey is he supposed to be there?

Medowin appears to know when his transmission is about to be cut off, as he closes his mouth just beforehand.

Medowin: "His only weakness is."

On the plus side, it's episode three and the cast are beginning to figure out who they're playing, and how they relate to each other. Darius particularly is starting to perform.

Given the ongoing storylines, I think this is very promising for the future.

The Message® //Remix™ 2.0 - The Bible In Contemporary Language by Eugene H Peterson

Reprinting of the always funky Message Bible, but jazzed up even more with a stone-effect cover, chapter numbers in fashion-ready three-digits, and more forward-slashes than The Passion Of The Christ.

I'm sorry, I can't do it, I still can't take this seriously.

Well now that's just not fair. As I may have implied in my earlier review of this paraphranslation, at its worst, the Message is only funny for the wrong reasons. At its best, I think it's the most accessible version out there.

What this printing really has to its credit though are translator Eugene H Peterson's opening commentaries on most of the books. (he combines a few of them)

Here again, my opinions falls into two camps. This review contains six quotes - three critical, three positive.

"But more often than not we become impatiently self-important along the way and decide to improve matters with our two cents' worth. We add on, we supplement, we embellish. But instead of improving on the purity and simplicity of Jesus, we dilute the purity, clutter the simplicity." [p.1763 regarding Hebrews]

Hang on, doesn't that call into question the very existence of these introductions? Well, his opinions can be quite subjective on occasions.

"But this letter, to one member of the Colossian church, he wrote with his own hand." [p.1760 regarding Philemon - I personally think it was just the one verse that Paul wrote himself.]

On others, as so many historians do, he falls victim to believing that history matches his own perception of it.

"It is impossible to overstate either the intensity or the complexity of the suffering that came to a head in the devastation of Jerusalem and then continued on into the seventy years of exile in Babylon." [p.1194 regarding Lamentations]

Surely Peterson's understanding of these millennia-old matters must come from written statements that are similarly lacking?

However this is just the sort of individual voice missing from the introductions in so many other sandpapered presentations of the Bible. If you want to disagree with Peterson, then all you really have to do is read the actual book that he's talking about - it's right there!

This can be a bit hit and miss. In some cases he seems to be casting around to find an angle. In others, such as some of the wisdom books, he appears to already have a stance, and the result can be wonderfully illuminating.

"Ecclesiastes is a John-the-Baptist kind of book. It functions not as a meal but as a bath. It is not nourishment; it is cleansing. It is repentance. It is purging."

And when he has a particular axe to grind about life, well, just listen to him clearly articulate it.

"When Christian believers gather in churches, everything that can go wrong sooner or later does. Outsiders, on observing this, conclude that there is nothing to this religion business except, perhaps, business - and dishonest business at that. Insiders see it differently. Just as a hospital collects the sick under one roof and labels them as such, the church collects sinners. Many of the people outside the hospital are every bit as sick as the ones inside, but their illnesses are either undiagnosed or disguised. It's similar with sinners outside the church.

So Christian churches are not, as a rule, model communities of good behavior." [p.1780 regarding James]

Awesome.

I didn't want to read the whole translation again, so I've read many of these intros before my reading of the corresponding book in a different version. I'm sure that's probably compromised some moments, but equally it does challenge his opinions to stick to the original text rather than to his own.

At the back is something that I've been looking for for a long time - a list of the books in chronological order, which I'm about to take on board in my reading of most of the epistles in the God's Word.

Finally, sorry to say it, but I find Peterson's own prose to be a bit easier to read than his translation work. Well I suppose that one or the other had to come out as preferable.

In this final quote, Peterson's second sentence roundly sabotages everything that follows it, but if you can hold that in tension, then it's still a sincerely great observation.

"But happiness is not a word we can understand by looking it up in the dictionary. In fact, none of the qualities of the Christian life can be learned out of a book. Something more like apprenticeship is required, being around someone who out of years of devoted discipline shows us, by his or her entire behavior, what it is. Moments of verbal instruction will certainly occur, but mostly an apprentice acquires skill by daily and intimate association with a "master," picking up subtle but absolutely essential things, such as timing and rhythm and "touch."" [p.1724 regarding Philippians]

I like Peterson's writing. The guy's love and perception of God's presence within everything are both affirming and inspiring.

Perhaps he should have called this book the Messages.

Doctor Who: A Good Man Goes To War / Let's Kill Hitler

Is this a two-part story?

After The Impossible Astronaut/Day Of The Moon, author Steven Moffat again skips a few months between episodes to blur the lines between cliffhanger and resolution.

And aside from the unfolding River storyline, these two instalments are highly distinct from each other. Different casts, different principle villains, different locations and times… we even get through different actresses playing River.

Oh and they go out in different series too… or do they? I guess we'll just have to wait and see how 2011's episodes ultimately get catalogued by fans. It probably doesn't help that I watched them on different channels in different countries, with different opening credits…

But hey, none of the above is a criticism - doing new stuff with the show is one of the things that keeps it fresh. All the same though, episode one does feel much more like an episode two, partly because of all the Doctor's old friends who we've never met before. The Silurian and maid, the Sontaran nurse, the girl who met the Doctor as a kid… if this is your first Doctor Who story, and you're feeling a little behind, then don't worry, so did everyone else.

In the UK, a week earlier, even the humble BBC-1 continuity announcer got his trail mixed-up, managing to mis-identify one of the returning characters - Dorium - as a new one:


"... and if you can't wait, watch a prequel of next week's episode featuring a new monster - there it is - and a familiar face at the Doctor Who website..."

Now the blue guy's inclusion here threw me off for three reasons:

First of all, despite having appeared in last season's The Pandorica Opens, Dorium only really gets introduced to us in the online preview being advertised above, which I didn't see.

Second, given how in that earlier episode he only met River, and that we've so far witnessed River's adventures in reverse order, I had to suppose that we were seeing Dorium's life in reverse order too. Not so apparently, as in this he dies. Unless that event changed the future. Someone needs to sit down and categorically work all this out now, along with where River's apparently more generic appearances come, such as this episode's throwaway Stevie Wonder trip. (or does her costume imply that this has happened after all?)

Third, given how the familiar-looking Silurian was actually a new character, and the familiar-looking Sontaran was actually a new character, maybe the familiar-looking blue-headed guy was new too?

Basically, all these unfamiliar characters receiving so little introduction, combined with the Doctor himself's absence for the first act, made part one quite hard to get into for me. Flatmate Dave even fell asleep in the middle, although in fairness he did wake up again when the commercials came on. Think Matrix 3, I guess.

For all that, it's always great to see the Doctor defeated. As usual nobody thinks to just shoot him, even when he's surrounded by guns pointed at him (duh), making him somewhat more lucky than clever. However the realisation that his lifetime of winning battles is catching up with him forces him to question his identity, which is quite a big defeat in another way.


Acknowledging the aforementioned hiatus in transmission, part one concludes with a post-credits teaser. This features the Doctor's skeletal hand lying on gravel, holding the sonic screwdriver as its weakening light fades to nothing. By the end of the second series of 2011, this scene had still not come to pass. Bit of a cheat if you ask me, even if we get to see this story in another upcoming series. Is this scene not intended to be canon?

A few months after the darkness of part one, the second episode is another kettle of Jimmy the fish entirely.

After all the misery of a fictional war, Let's Kill Hitler takes an actual war and subverts it into a knockabout comedy. Finally the bright lights are back, the spectacular direction, and Steven Moffat's trademark banter. That whole "You will be dead in 32 minutes" dualogue between the Doctor and the TARDIS was an absolute sketch! (although it does challenge the human TARDIS' tearful farewell to the Doctor in The Doctor's Wife) This one is laughter all the way, which combined with the satisfaction of finally getting some answers on River, makes this a joy from start to finish.

Mels: "It was late - I took a bus."
Rory: "You stole a bus."

Doctor: "You shot it! You shot my TARDIS!"

Nazi: "What are you doing here?"
River: "Well. I was on my way to this gay gypsy Bar Mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought 'Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Führer.' Who's with me?"

Amy: "Can you ride a motorbike?"
Rory: "I expect so. It's that sort of day."

Subtitle: BERLIN, 1938

Well all right, that last one wasn't so much of a quote, but with the serious music and all it just flashed up so deadpan.

Sure there's a token zombie in there, just as Melody had been in part one (and arguably part two), but the Teselecta has got to be one of the best executed doppelgängers of all time. I was enjoying this episode too much to worry about challenging it.

Good job too, or I'd be questioning why the girl hadn't been trying to kill the Doctor in The Eleventh Hour, The Vampires Of Venice or The Big Bang. Or umpteen earlier stories… Surely that would have been a better reason for Madame Kovarian to have placed the child on Earth.

The final difference that I have to note between these two episodes was that I watched them in different hemispheres. A Good Man Goes To War in New Zealand, and Let's Kill Hitler back in the UK. The reason why I highlight this is two-fold:


1. The 'The Doctor will be back in Let's Kill Hitler Autumn 2011' caption at the end of part one in the UK, probably read 'The Doctor will be back in Let's Kill Hitler Spring 2011' down under. Alas, we deleted it from the MySky box afterwards so I cannot now check.

2. Episode one in NZ had the US opening titles on it (covered in more detail in my review of The Impossible Astronaut / Day Of The Moon). Up until this point, I had been watching the entire series with these on the start, and naturally assumed that they had been on the UK versions too. Apparently they hadn't. A bit of a loss for the Brits, that. Hitler might have approved.

However staying with the subject of different versions airing in different countries, Let's Kill Hitler also boasts an additional scene that only American viewers got.


This was an animated motorbike sequence featuring the Teselecta chasing Amy and Rory in the middle of the episode. Well, more specifically, in the commercial break, apparently branded with the AT&T logo. I've watched the scene sans the branding, and as a cartoon it's not much to write home about. However, had it been live-action as originally envisaged then it would have fitted right in with all the other astounding classic moments in this episode.

Sheesh, where will it all end? Probably with the Police Box getting rebranded with each country's local telecoms logo.

That's what happens when a good plan goes too awry.

Today's celebrity Bible reader is… Marty Hopkirk

"I'm a ghost of my former self"

- Psalm 102:4a (Message)

The Infallibility Of God's Word

"Your written testimonies are completely reliable."

- Psalm 93:5a (God's Word)

"The world was set in place; it cannot be moved."

- Psalm 93:1b (God's Word)

Surely begging the question, just how many written testimonies has God ever given us?

(ῧ)

Father Of The Bride: Part II

"Hey, what are we - the Schmaltz family?"

In 1996 someone cruelly chose to screen this film on a flight I was taking.

That's right, after all the money that each of us had paid for our seats, they showed us a sequel, knowing full well that most of the passengers would never have seen the preceding chapter.

Worse, being a comedy about childbirth, this was arguably a chick flick, and I dare suppose that roughly half of us on the flight would have been male. So much for aiming to entertain us.

It's uphill work watching a film about two families who you don't know having a baby. Without much introduction to the characters, there's little reason to care. At one point Martin Short shows-up to great reaction, and the absence of a reason for the camera to dwell upon him so just feels like the editor went to sleep at that point.

So 13 years later I caught up on the preceding film, and however else I felt about it, I at least understood why I should care about the characters.

Armed with this new empathy, tonight I gave the sequel a second chance, but I'm afraid that it still fell flat on me.

Steve Martin - always a brilliant comedy performer - is still impossible to identify with as George. There is nothing unexpected about a baby, and yet somehow it still comes as a complete shock to him that his married daughter is now pregnant. Then he suddenly sells his house without telling his wife. Then he does tell her, but in front of everyone at a family get-together. Just how are we supposed to imagine ourselves in this guy's shoes?

Diane Keaton as the long-suffering "straight man" wife takes this development remarkably well. However, after trying to drive home to him how advanced in years he now is, when he gives in and agrees, she kicks him out of the house. So how is anyone supposed to identify with her?

We really need to like these characters, before we will laugh with them, and care about them.

It's never explained how, but since the first film George has somehow managed to pay off the sky-high debt that he was left in. However because this one is a sequel, they just have to have him run up an even more enormous one, literally in excess of $100,000. About this, his wife has nothing to say. If the first movie had ended with him massively in debt, then following this one he must surely go to prison.

Even the film's narration has had little enough thought put into it that it begins just after the birth of his second daughter, but presently overtakes this date and just keeps on going.

To the movie's credit, despite some sixteen years having passed since I last saw it, I have remembered the plot pretty clearly, which given how muddy any film becomes on a distant TV hanging from the ceiling at cabin altitude, is certainly impressive.

The best way to watch this film though, and fix all these plot problems, might just be to simply turn the sound off and make up your own dialogue.

Again much like on an aircraft.

Hmm, why those two babies must both be aged about 16 years old now. Why maybe they could make a third film in which they each meet someone and get engaged, and have a double… mmnah.

(available here)

Today's celebrity Bible reader is… Holly

"Saul was dead, his three sons were dead, and the soldier who carried his weapons was dead. They and all his soldiers died on that same day." (Dave)

- 1 Samuel 31:6 (CEV)

Today's celebrity Bible reader is… Sinéad O'Connor

"No one compares to you"

- Psalm 40:5b (God's Word)

Today's celebrity Bible reader is… Darth Vader

"But rebels will be completely destroyed."

- Psalm 37:38a (God's Word)

The Bible (abridged)

Avoid evil, do good, and live forever.

- Psalm 37:27 (God's Word)

Today's celebrity Bible reader is… Alan Partridge

"Aha!"

- Psalm 35:21b (God's Word)

K9: Liberation

K9: "Calculating odds of human defeating Jixen… four billion, three-hundred million, two-thousand-and-three to one."

At first I thought I'd missed a week.

This second episode opens with everyone already settled into whatever the show's set-up is supposed to be, which threw me somewhat. For example, Darius tells Starkey "Relax, doofus, our enemies tend to storm in, not use the bell." A moment later the space-time portal gets referred to by Jorjie as the more familiar 'time-machine'. Reassuringly, the script does then go on to explicitly be set straight after episode one, but for a few moments there I was worried that either the DVD had these episodes in the wrong order, or that the order was intentionally vague. (neither of these is ever a good sign)

The plot here is a disaster, full of people we don't yet care about doing stupid things. K9 goes to check out an alien prison. Before he's even got there, Starkey and Darius assume that he's been captured and decide to risk their lives saving him. Just a reminder - that's a prison they're breaking into there. Starkey has K9's dog whistle from last week's episode, which until they get captured it never occurs to either of them to use.

The other alien prisoners - being all human actors in costumes - resemble a Halloween fancy dress party. Here's hoping that someone on YouTube has recut this episode to YMCA.


And why oh why doesn't Starkey just pick up the exhausted K9 and carry him out?

The show's divorce from the main Doctor Who canon means that none of these aliens appears (to me) to be from that series. The prison itself - based in London - also elicits a gut-expectation of a line about it being a part of UNIT, or even Torchwood. Well, obviously that line never comes.

No real problems yet though. The series appears to have several developing storylines, which I suspect will up their game considerably as everyone figures out what they're doing.

Episode three review here.

Che: Part One - The Argentine / Part Two - Guerrilla

Two-part biography of the man in the beret's career in revolutionising.

Having in 2005 seen the earlier set The Motorcycle Diaries, I tried to think of these two later biopics as The Motorcycle Reloaded and The Motorcycle Revolutions respectively. Admittedly though, horses do prove a little more practical in the bloomin' jungle.

Steven Soderbergh's documentary style of direction, whilst dispassionate and uninvolving, is also free to breathe easily. Little of this fly-on-the-tree perspective feels like a movie. Well, except for the train crash. I'm not used to seeing those in real life.

The famous freedom fighter himself is portrayed more as a man of peace, who converses in a civil manner with his enemies, and flexes his medical muscles whenever possible. After all, in the real world that this works so hard to reflect, there are no clear-cut goodies or baddies.

Accordingly, I also couldn't keep track of the sprawling cast of characters, and the politics lost me quite quickly too. However, Che's plans are exposed here with clearer motivations and objectives than in his own autobiographical Bolivian Diary, which the final film is based upon. It's interesting to recognise some of his own prose getting adapted here as conversation.

Che's order 600 execution is as matter-of-fact as all the other deaths that we witness.

Definitely not an emotionally engaging film, more of a history lesson.

As such, I recommend taking notes, but writing them a bit bigger than he did.

(available here)

Captain America: The First Avenger

One of the most simplistic Marvel movies that I’ve seen, and all the better for it.

Breaking continuity with The Fantastic Four, Chris Evans this time becomes the hero in the red, white and blue fancy dress, but ironically no actual cap. For decades now superhero movies have sought to rationalise the plainly ridiculous costumes that the comics have drawn their main characters wearing, but this explanation soars over them all. Cap’s costume design is a costume – inherited from his initial career as the US military’s poster-boy. Genius. Was that in the original comic? I’ve no idea.

Not quite breaking continuity with Iron Man 2, Dominic Cooper becomes a younger version of Tony Stark’s dad. In a movie where all the characters are so easy to get a handle on, this can only make things even easier.

Embracing continuity with Iron Man, Samuel L Jackson returns briefly as Nick Fury, not just to close the film, but also in the final post-credits tag. In fact, hang on, thanks to the fantastic trailer for the following year’s Avengers movie, we also get Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark Jr, AND Chris Hemsworth as Thor!

How’s that for making me leave my local Auckland cinema on a high?!?

I’m well impressed with the way that Marvel have strung this build-up out. For all their millions of dollars, films have always been the poor relative of TV when it comes to a (cough) bigger picture. Stories in real life always take place in a much broader, more complex context, and Marvel Comics have done so well to reflect this with their shared universe down the decades. How wondrous that someone has finally seen fit to attempt to transfer this rare quality across media.

Oh. But, hang on second. Wasn’t superrich security guard Larry King poisoned in The Incredible Hulk?

Oh that's right, this is set in the 1940s. So this guy must be his dad:


(available here)
(with thanks to Herschel)

Today's celebrity Bible-reader is… Denholm Reynholm

Treacherous dealers dealt treacherously, Yea, treachery, treacherous dealers dealt treacherously.

- Isaiah 24:16b (Young's Literal Translation)

Words From The Street (CD)

A CD of 40 short Christian devotionals read by a selection of young Kiwis in Auckland and Welly.

Devotionals? Perhaps more specifically encouragements. There aren't many questions here, but there are plenty of reminders about the character of God.

I have to admit I found the tension between authenticity and packaging something of a challenge. On the one hand these are thankfully read by real people rather than actors. On the other, they are almost all read in the same way, right down to the grammar, pauses and choice of phrases. The atmosphere behind often doesn't seem to match the location of the speaker either. If anything, one single voice came through for me here, rather than several.

So are these stories genuine? Presumably for whoever wrote them.

Still, production aside, as I say all these pieces are encouraging, and for that alone this is a nice uplifting collection.

(with thanks to Shane)

Escape From L.A.

*contains spoilers*

"Catches on quick, doesn't he."

I think I once heard the observation that this sequel to Escape From New York was really more of a remake.

I can see that person's point, but I don't feel it really matters - what's more important is that this follow-up is better.

From the word go, returning director John Carpenter crams in idea after idea, secure in the conviction that realism is just not what many of us are watching it for. Futuristic weapons, earthquakes, a tsunami, holograms, virtual reality and a religious extremist for president all make for a packed... opening few minutes?

(in movies, all religious people with power are evil - it's a rule)

By the time that Snake is hurtling through the watery wreckage of Los Angeles in a one-man CGI sub on a mission to kill the president's teenage freedom-fighting daughter, well, we're now ten whole minutes in.

Did I mention that it's all rather wonderfully set 'now' - in the year 2013?

I could whinge on about where the prisoners of L.A. acquire things like petrol and ammunition, or why the evil future U.S. government hadn't simply euthanised their problems away, but this movie is supposed to be enjoyed.

Admittedly the CGI on show would have been laughable even upon the film's release in 1996, but that hardly matters - the film's heavy self-assurance covers a multitude of shortcomings. Even the token woman gets impressively shot dead in only her third scene.

It all builds to a fantastic ending, with Snake literally holding the fate of human civilisation in his hands. Will he press the button and end all this madness? He's Snake - he'd better!

Not sure where there would be left for Snake to escape from in a third outing.

Maybe Earth?

(available here)

The Island Of Poe by Tony Parkin

When a person writes someone else's life story, it's called a biography.

When a person writes their own life story, it's called an autobiography.

When two people in different centuries team-up to tell the former's life story, it's called The Island Of Poe.

Drawing heavily upon the prose of the man himself, Tony Parkin does indeed tell the life story of Edgar Allan Poe, by putting excerpts from his writings into context, and blurring the lines between where one man's work finishes, and the other's begins.

The result is a book that is both dreamy and absorbing. The excerpts are long enough to seize the attention, but short enough to leave me wanting more. After reading the clip from his infamous Raven poem, it was difficult to continue without falling back into the same rhythm.

And Tony surely knows who he's writing about, having been performing his one-man show along similar lines for decades now.

Available here:

K9: Regeneration

Brought to the London of the future through a space-time portal, K9 is forced to self-destruct to protect some locals from a party of Jixen. (aliens who move as though they have been filmed on a mobile phone, and whose bodies vanish after K9's explosion)

But wait - K9 now has the hitherto unmentioned ability to reanimate himself, and somehow generates a whole new redesigned body out of thin air. (as opposed to out of the wreckage of his old one)

There then follows what feels like half a story, in which three kids and a guy called the professor have a few skirmishes with the aforementioned aliens and the robotic law, while the ever loyal K9 flies around and copes with the amnesia of his previous TV series.

In the middle of all this, everyone suddenly begins to chuckle good-naturedly, and stone me if the closing credits don't begin rolling. It's not the middle - it's the end. Unless you consider this to be the first half of a two-parter, which is admittedly debatable.

As first episodes go, I was okay with all of this. I don't expect any series to gel at the start, but this show nonetheless has plenty going for it. Clear - albeit poorly dubbed - dialogue, and plenty of it. A surreal future version of London, excusing the otherwise ridiculous use of Brisbane to double for it. (even the robot cops are Bruces) Thank goodness that nobody stops running for their life to talk about how they feel, or how cool K9 is.

Still too much music though.

The robot cops have no infra-red capability, and are as slow as Cybermen.

Gryffen, getting a great line of motivation: "I have to get you out of here." Thanks for explaining that to us Gryffen.

In retrospect, I'm glad I embargoed watching this series until now, for a whole raft of reasons:

1. In the UK, Channel 5 predictably stuffed-up their airing of the series by trying to strip it across the week, then changing the timeslot almost daily, missing out episodes and no doubt plastering that stoopid great logo of their's over the corner of the picture. (Channel 5 has always assumed its viewers to all be too thick to know which channel they're watching) If all that wasn't bad enough, this was the only time a Doctor Who-related series has had its first UK broadcast in the mornings.

2. Broadly speaking, Doctor Who is currently going through a self-inflicted 10-month break, so for me this series has a good window in which to stand on its own wheels.

3. The series is based in the future, so getting another series of Doctor Who, Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures watched beforehand could be just a smidgen more chronological.

4. On a related note, The Sarah Jane Adventures have also now concluded in their entirety, making this series of K9 something of a successor. A show about K9, three kids and an adult Doctor-type scientist (even called 'the professor') dealing with alien encounters in a version of London filmed in a different country? Yes, I have an opening for that.

It's easy to assume that this is even the same K9 Mark 3 from SJA, especially if the events of this episode were the cause of the character's non-appearance from the last series. This would entertainingly transform all of Luke's explanations to mum for K9's absences into guilty lies to cover up having lost him!

But it's just not K9 Mark 3. It can't be K9 Mark 1 either, who by implication was killed off with Leela and all the Time Lords on the planet Gallifrey in The End Of The World. In fact, the same episode also killed-off Romana, presumably leaving her K9 Mark 2 to become something of a free agent.

In fact, no matter what anyone else may tell you, no matter who they may be, according to this episode, this unit is deliberately stated to be K9 Mark 2.


Blink and you really would miss it, but when K9 reboots, there are only two options there, and as you can see, his system selects the second. Of course, you could argue that these refer to his different design of body, but that is just not what K9 himself has used the term "Mark X" to denote over the years.


Even his box in The Invasion Of Time was labelled "K9 M II" and turned out to contain the classic model, not the funky flying one. I am just following what this episode says, and what K9's other TV appearances have said over the years, which agree with it. Interesting that K9 Mark 2 retains a dormant copy of Mark 1's operating system in there, but that figures if the Doctor copied Mark 1's design and expanded upon it.

Smart of the Doctor to put that regeneration component in there too, no doubt inspired by his own ability. It would be unlikely for the original K9 to have that.

I also don't mind K9 getting redesigned, but it is annoying given the retro theme that the rest of the series seems to be aiming for, even in its synth music. K9 already looks retro! Still, at least we did get to see the original model for a whole scene early on, and an enormous relief that John Leeson has been retained for the voice. These two things carry so much credibility.

That this team are not afraid to demonstrate their understanding of the importance of making these connections is both encouraging and promising. A shame that the makers of Rose did not feel the same way.

K9: "Human communication functions are seriously flawed."

Pike: "Yeah, says the dog who mistook his nibs here for a Jixen."

21 Grams

Various: "Life goes on."

Gripping two-hour drama about the devastation caused to three families by an accidental car crash.

The driver Jack loses his faith and family. Widowed Cristina loses her husband and her two daughters. Nearby patient Paul gains a new heart, literally. In one sense, the film is all about new beginnings, and the preciousness of life. In another, it's all about the messiness of it.

The best thing about this production is the acting. Whenever something big happens, a lot of other movies will chicken-out and cut away to later. Not so here. There are several very heavy scenes throughout this, and the director has no coyness about confronting us with these moments in all their harrowing pain. This is immaculately acted by all.

The worst thing about this production is the editing. I'm not talking about the out-of-sync church singers, I mean the whole non-chronological narrative. While I found that it did jigsaw together for me by the end, for a good half of this I just wasn't sure who was who, or how things fitted together. Given the calibre of the performances in here, I thought the actors were robbed, and I would much rather have just watched this in order. (admittedly I missed the first minute and had to watch it afterwards, which probably didn't help, much like Channel 4's ad-less ad-breaks)

Also in this literally mixed-up plot, there is a preacherman who doesn't appear to have studied his own beliefs too closely, and a detective who is clever enough to leave his own prints on the orphan gun. However this film is unashamedly more interested in teasing out its characters' emotions, which as I say it excels at.

Oh well, it's only a movie. Life goes on.

(available here)

A Scanner Darkly (movie)

I reckon I followed about 80% of this.

Seven years into the future, Keanu Reeves plays Bob Arctor - a bogus junkie dude who's secretly an undercover cop. To convincingly infiltrate the tinny house that he's investigating requires him to take the illegal substance in question - 'D' - which he unwittingly becomes addicted to. As Arctor's belief in his perceptions of the world breaks down, the true agendas of the other people in his life unravel… or is that just his trippy grip on reality?

Robert Downey Jr. as James Barris is a revelation to watch here. He seems completely unaware of the disparity between his version of the world, and the actual world. Despite this shortcoming being inherent in the human condition (to put it lightly), he still seems to believe himself wise. Well, delusions of worldliness are something that most of us suffer from. See - I did it right there.

Blurring the sense of reality for the viewer, most of the film has the look of having been shot live action and then treated to appear animated, except for the occasional moment when the background slides around a bit. The movie's slow tempo is a mixed blessing, enabling me to connect with Arctor's housemates, but to nod off a bit when his monotone boss came on. For me, these elements combined to result in a home-made feel, particularly since treating video to look like a cartoon comes as stat with free editing programs like Windows Live.

A bleak, absorbing world, thankfully with a note of hope to close on.

(available here)

Giving All My Praise - David Dowlen

"He's very black."

That's what I was told by the white man who gave me this disc in 2006, and I sure can't argue.

What makes this collection of Christian hip hop and reggae stand out are the numerous teaching sketches that break it up. These feature David about to go out on stage, answering the phone, saying the Lord's Prayer and stuff.

What impresses me about this album is that tonight - on Good Friday - I put it on intending to read a book. (Love Wins by Rob Bell, since you ask) I never opened the book, I found myself drawn into having a quiet time instead.

Now that's gotta be a recommendation.

With thanks to Shane.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 3D

What's the antonym of premiere?

Whatever it is, I was sort of at one this evening.

But more of that in about six paragraphs' time.

Like every other kid in 1977, I went to the cinema to see Star Wars more than once. In fact, Star Wars was the first movie that I ever saw at the cinema. Aside from the made-for-TV Star Wars Holiday Special though, I never watched any of its sequels, or prequels for that matter.

It's hard to believe now, but it actually was common knowledge in those early days that George Lucas had several other films planned, to be set both before and after that original production. Why sure, I doubted that the prequels would ever actually come to be, but all the same, somehow over the years I found myself waiting for him to finish the whole series of nine.

People would tell me things that had happened in the movies that I had missed. Silly made-up nonsense concerning Luke's hand, Leia's parents, and Darth Vader's surname, but obviously fans will insist on winding up their own over-active imaginations so.

For example, presently people (probably Herschel) would tell me that Lucas had scaled back his plans and would now only be making six movies. They point at The Phantom Menace, Attack Of The Clones, Revenge Of The Sith, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi as though they were the full series. They've obviously never heard of The Star Wars Holiday Special, Caravan Of Courage: An Ewok Adventure or Ewoks: The Battle For Endor. Recently Lucas even released The Clone Wars, extending the series to ten.

With this year's rerelease of the well-known six in 3D, it seemed like it was high time that I took the plunge and actually started watching them through.

That's why tonight I found myself at what seemed to be the final evening theatrical screening in the whole country of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. It seems to be moving exclusively to mornings tomorrow, in another region. (I haven't checked any of this)

The series has a great opening. I was expecting to get a thrill from hearing the music in a theatre again, but it was the visuals that gave me the real adrenaline kick and made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Very simply, that logo, in that exact shade of yellow, on such an awesome starfield. This was the way that starfields in the cinema had used to look when I was a kid. I should have got myself a tall rectangular Kia-Ora drink for the full effect.

Almost immediately however I realised that I had been duped, as another story-so-far scrolled onto the screen. The first sentence was pretty good.

"Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic."

The second sentence was suicidal.

"The taxation of trade routes to
outlaying star systems is in dispute."

What? Seriously? There's a dispute regarding outlaying star systems and the taxation of trade routes thereof? Oh, NO!

This was quickly starting to feel a bit like homework.

Still, that was only the opening creep. I don't like prejudging films, but I'll admit that the universal disdain of this one had caused me to attend the cinema intending to love this regardless. Over they years I'd had a whale of a time listening to all the euphoric publicity vs. all the embittered reviews, so today I was pretty well-disposed towards actually watching it. After all, it was pointless trying to kid myself that I could now come along and somehow still be objective.

In the end, I found this film to be equally spectacular and soulless.

Spectacular, because almost every single shot is stunning, just stunning. The universe of alien races that fill the screen at any given moment is amazing. The space scenes enthralling. The 1990s CGI looks far more wonderful than anything else I saw at the time did, even more so in 3D.

The sound to go with some of this let it down, such as the Neimoidians' lip-syncing, and several really heavy things happening quietly.

There are two really big sequences in this - the pod-race and the battle at the end.

The pod race is enormous in its scope, and with three laps is inevitably reminiscent of the 1959 remake of Ben Hur. I could have done with a few more shots from the driver's point of view here to really convey the impression of being in the race myself, but I can't complain. This entire sequence was grim, thrilling and fantastic. Best of all, most of it had no music, which in other scenes simply has nothing to do.

The battle at the end however suffered from my just not caring about anyone. From the get-go I hadn't really bought into, or understood, the trade agreement thing, Now among other things I was watching an army of CGI aliens fighting another army of CGI aliens. The only character who I had a reason to care about was comic relief Jar Jar Binks, who keeps messing things up, presumably causing lives to be lost. I couldn't really root for either his laughs, or his unlikely success at anything. Neither did it help that I could understand so little of what he was mumbling.

I have no problem with the presence of Jar Jar in this film, but he does suffer tremendously from the same affliction that everyone else has - they all have no soul. We're given precious little reason to care about any of them, and most of them seem so remote from each other.

Even Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are victims of this. We really ought to want to want to be these guys. They lead such an exciting adventurous life, and are virtually unkillable - fantastic! Unfortunately they also have no passion, no sense of humour, and no rapport. Now who wants to be them? Could they not even have enjoyed eating their food with some gusto? Their tragedy is that they come across as such cool customers that they have no warmth left.

Generally speaking, all the other characters in this film are similarly lifeless.

Perhaps the most central moment of the film is young Anakin Skywalker's decision to leave his mother in order to train to become a Jedi. I found this event absolutely heartbreaking, but all the more infuriating because it seemed so unnecessary. Earlier, Qui-Gon had attempted to make a bet to free Anakin's mom too, but now upon being challenged by Watto, he makes next to no attempt to argue for it. Worse, surely with all the money they'd just made on the race they could have bought her freedom? Call me old-fashioned, but how can I be expected to get on board with the removal of a child from his mother, even if it's what the child unhappily picks when forced to make a choice?

Finally, I had a probem with the light-sabres. Why would you use one of them when you could use a gun? When Darth Maul shows up, they have about a dozen people outnumbering him with guns, so what do they do? They all abandon the two with only light-sabres to fight him. I get that light-sabres are the Star Wars universe's tool of tradition, but all the same. There's a reason why we have firing squads - it's because they tend to work. Just shoot him already!

Overall, I liked this film, and would probably enjoy it more on a second sitting, with a better idea of what to expect. While none of the events really mattered to me, the action itself was superbly and beautifully executed. There's no way this film could ever have been made like this without the universe in which it is set already pre-existing. That there is one man's unique vision driving the whole thing is extremely valuable, but for me not quite enough to save it.

The best movies are the ones that are different.

The worst movies are always the ones that are the same.

And then there's The Phantom Menace, which is very different to anything else, but without much variation about itself.

And E.T.'s race is in it, so I guess that's now film number eleven…

(available here)

Doctor Who: Script To Screen 2011 / Death Is The Only Answer

Script To Screen 2011

Alone in the TARDIS, the eleventh Doctor appeals to British primary school children to write a three-minute story for him to star in, which they will then get to see being filmed. He seems pretty definite that everyone is in danger and he needs them to do this to solve it, although he's his usual defensive self when it comes to the details. It's got to be said, even though he's reading the whole thing, Matt Smith is really on form here.

Death Is The Only Answer

After changing his clothes, the Doctor finds his fez, despite it having been destroyed by River in The Big Bang. He then gets visited by his old friend Albert Einstein, who claims that the fez is his, and he wants it back. Along with his toothbrush. Unfortunately the toothbrush got exterminated by the Daleks.

Einstein is trying to build his own time machine, and accidentally becomes an ood, who keeps on repeating the phrase "Death is the only answer." The Doctor restores him to being a human again and returns him to 18th September 1945 circa 2 o'clock (the day after Hiroshima's typhoon), unaware that a piece of green slime from Einstein's machine still squelches along the TARDIS floor.

Given his cheerful demeanour, presumably the danger that the Doctor alluded to in Script To Screen is now resolved.

I regret to report that I didn't understand this, either time. Perhaps the fact of the story's existence is more what matters. In the later Script To Screen 2012 the Doctor seems to retcon this tale into freeing him from the Land of Fiction, so very possibly. The slime at the end still bothers me though, because it's a cliffhanger that will probably never get resolved. Is it too much to ask for another minisode to tie this up?

Top marks though have to go to the cast - Matt Smith, Nickolas Grace and Paul Casey - who play the whole thing with as much if not more conviction than a regular episode. Smith and Casey's ease I can understand, but how does Grace do that? How does he walk in as though he's been living in the TARDIS longer than Matt Smith?

Maybe all this is the reason why Einstein blanked the seventh Doctor in Time And The Rani.